RENALWISE CKD Kitchen

Master Cookbook v8
Recipe Card Edition

157 recipe cards formatted in the supplied reference style.

157 cards use matched images from C:\Users\andre\Pictures\cookbook_photos or existing manuscript image assets.

Generated 2026-06-12. Full compact manuscript remains static/Master_Cookbook_v8.pdf.

Recipe Card Index

001CKD French Toast 002CKD Waffles 003CKD Pancakes 004CKD Eggs Benedict 005CKD Breakfast Burrito 006CKD Biscuits and Gravy 007CKD Cinnamon Rolls 008CKD Breakfast Sandwich 009CKD Hash Browns 010CKD Omelette Bar 011CKD Crepes 012CKD Granola 013CKD Overnight Oats 014CKD Shakshuka 015CKD Chilaquiles 016Bob's Ultra-Fresh Sweet & Spicy Ceviche 017Susan's Cornbread with Hot Dogs 018S.O.S. - Mashed Potatoes with Hamburger Gravy 0191. Country Fried Steak & Gravy 0205. Golden Skillet Fried Chicken 0219. Backyard Smokehouse Ribs 02214. Shrimp Scampi 023Saturday Supreme Pizza 024CKD CHICKEN SAUSAGE SPAGHETTI WITH RED SAUCE 025CKD CHICKEN TINGA 026CKD CHICKEN CACCIATORE 027CKD STEAK TACOS WITH PICO DE GALLO 028FROM-SCRATCH SAUSAGE GRINDING & STORAGE 02914. Citrus Fire Carne Asada Marinade 03015. Reeser's Red Hot Beef Burrito 031ITEM 1: Chicken Chalupa Supreme 032THE WINGS (Base Recipe) 033KOSHER MEATBALLS 034HALAL LAMB & CHICKEN GYROS 035PERSIAN KETCHUP (Cornelius, Oregon Food Cart Inspired) 036FRESH BLENDER MARINARA (From Scratch - No Cans) 037CKD-AWARE NACHO CHEESE SAUCE (Restaurant-Style) 038CKD-AWARE RANCH DRESSING 039CKD-AWARE COCKTAIL SAUCE 040CKD-AWARE THOUSAND ISLAND / SPECIAL SAUCE 041CKD-AWARE HONEY MUSTARD 042CKD OLIVE GARDEN ITALIAN DRESSING (Exact Dupe) 043CKD CAPRESE SALAD 044CKD GREEK SALAD (Andrew's Version - No Olives) 045MOM'S RADIATORE WHITE WINE VINEGAR PASTA SALAD (CKD Clone) 046CITRUS TYPHOON HOT SAUCE (Andrew's New Custom) 047RINGSIDE STEAKHOUSE FRESH HORSERADISH PREP (Portland Clone) 048RECENT TROPICAL HOT SAUCE BATCH 049ULTRAVIOLET - Blueberry Habanero 0501. Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies 0514. Andrew's Soft Carrot Cake 0521. GF Sourdough Bread (Rice Flour Starter + Loaf) 0535. GF Fresh Pasta (Rice Flour - KitchenAid Pasta Roller) 054KOMBUCHA (Non-Alcoholic Fermented Tea) 055HONEY MEAD (Honey Wine - the oldest alcohol on earth) 056FRUIT CIDER (Hard Cider from Fresh Juice) 057RED -- Szechuan Ghost Pepper 058ORANGE -- Mango Habanero Tajin 059YELLOW -- Turmeric Curry Bomb 060GREEN -- Wasabi Nori Furikake 061BLUE -- Blue Cheese & Black Truffle 062INDIGO -- Ube Coconut 063VIOLET -- Lavender Honey Sea Salt 064AZATHOTH -- Szechuan Peppercorn & Black Garlic 065NYARLATHOTEP -- Ube & Reaper Ash 066CTHULHU -- Seaweed & Lime 067YOG-SOTHOTH -- Saffron & Sumac 068SHUB-NIGGURATH -- Mushroom Truffle & Thyme 069HASTUR -- Turmeric & Dried Mango 070THE COLOUR -- Everything Seasoning 071RICE TREATS 0724. Crisp Wafer Bar Dupe 073Nacho Dust Tortilla Chips 074FESTIVAL COTTON CANDY - Iridescent, Glowing & Edible Light Art 075SUPER SOUR + SUPER HOT CROSSOVER CANDY 076CKD Chocolate Fountain Setup 077Chocolate-Covered Strawberries 078Chocolate-Covered Frozen Grapes 079Chocolate-Covered Rice Krispie Pops 080Chocolate Bark 3 Ways 081Chocolate-Dipped Apple Slices 082Chocolate Fruit Kabobs 083CKD Hot Fudge Sauce 084CKD Chocolate Ganache 085White Chocolate Fruit Dip 086The Vorathic Chocolate Fountain Party Platter 087NUT BUTTERS (From Scratch, KitchenAid Food Processor) 088EXOTIC / RARE JELLIES & JAMS (From Scratch) 089VORATHIC RAINBOW PB&J LINE 090UPSCALE GRILLED PB&J 091Adult-Use Legal-Input Gummy Squares 092Adult-Use Legal-Input Chocolate Bark Squares 093Adult-Use Legal-Input Hard Candy Drops 094WITCHES BREW - Apothecary Soups 095THE MUSHROOM FARM 096Recipe 1: Surf & Turf - Mini Ribeye & Garlic Butter Shrimp 097Recipe 2: Mushroom & Gouda Risotto 098Recipe 3: Honey-Garlic Chicken Thighs with Jasmine Rice 099Recipe 4: Cast Iron Steak with Compound Herb Butter 100Recipe 5: Thai Basil Chicken (Pad Gra Prao) over Rice 101Recipe 6: Lemon Herb Salmon with Rice 102Recipe 7: Chicken Alfredo (Cauliflower Cream Sauce for CKD) 103Recipe 8: Loaded Nachos (Homemade CKD Nacho Cheese) 104Recipe 9: Breakfast for Dinner - Country Fried Steak, Eggs & Biscuits 105Recipe 10: Chocolate Lava Mug Cake for Two 106Recipe 11: Strawberry Cheesecake Bites (No Bake) 107Recipe 12: Late Night Quesadilla - Smoked Gouda & Chicken 1081. Summer Pulled Chicken Sliders 10911. Honey-Glazed Holiday Roast 11016. Deviled Eggs 1111. Chinese New Year Dumplings (Jiaozi) 1121. Wild Cod Fish Tacos 113Ancient Rome (~100 AD) - Pullum Numidicum (Numidian Chicken) 114Medieval England (~1350) - Blancmange (White Eating) 115Colonial America (~1776) - Hoecakes with Honey 116Edo Japan (~1700) - Tamago Gohan (Egg Rice) 117Ottoman Empire (~1500) - Lamb Kebab with Yogurt Sauce 118Ancient Egypt (~2000 BC) - Beer Bread 119American Frontier (~1850) - Cowboy Beans & Hardtack 120French Revolution (~1789) - Potage Parmentier (Potato Leek Soup) 121Silk Road (~800 AD) - Persian Jeweled Rice (Morasa Polo) 122Depression Era America (~1935) - Mock Apple Pie (Ritz Cracker Pie) 123Recipe 1: CKD S'mores 124Recipe 2: Campfire Hot Dogs (Turkey Dogs on Sticks) 125Recipe 3: Foil Pack Chicken & Veggies 126Recipe 4: Foil Pack Fish (Wild Salmon or Cod) 127Recipe 5: Campfire Corn on the Cob 128Recipe 6: Dutch Oven Chili 129Recipe 7: Campfire Quesadillas 130Recipe 8: Hobo Stew 131Recipe 9: Campfire Nachos (in Foil) 132Recipe 10: Campfire Banana Boats 133Recipe 11: The Perfect Grilled Steak 134Recipe 12: Grilled Chicken Thighs (Lemon Herb) 135Recipe 13: Grilled Shrimp Skewers 136Recipe 15: Shore Lunch - Catch, Clean, Cook 137Pub Mix Dupe 1381. Chicken Tinga 1392. Kidney-Friendly Chicken Cacciatore 1403. Chicken Ragu over White Pasta (Slow Cooker) 1414. Homemade Spaghetti with Meat Sauce 1425. Steak and Eggs 1436. Chicken Fajita Bowl 1447. Grilled Chicken Soft Tacos 1458. Grilled Steak Tacos 1469. One-Pan Chicken and Rice 14710. Chicken Stir-Fry 14811. Low-Sodium Spanish Rice 14912. Homemade Refried Beans (40% Less Potassium) 15013. Caesar Salad 15114. Garden Salad with Herb Vinaigrette 15215. Roasted Peppers and Onions 15316. Homemade Pico de Gallo 15417. "Ghetto Baja Blast" 15518. Cold Fruit Bowl 15619. Crystal Light Popsicles 15720. Homemade Taco Night (Full Spread)
Breakfast Classics

CKD French Toast

French toast first appears in the Apicius, a Roman cookbook from the 4th or 5th century AD, where it was called 'Pan Dulcis' - bread soaked in milk and egg, then fried.

CKD French Toast

Directions

  1. Whisk eggs, almond milk, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, sugar, and salt in a wide shallow bowl until uniform.
  2. Heat a large skillet or griddle over medium heat. Melt 1 tbsp margarine and swirl to coat.
  3. Dip each bread slice into the custard - 15 seconds per side. Let excess drip off. You want saturated, not dripping.
  4. Cook 2-3 min per side until deep golden brown and slightly crispy on the edges. The sugars in brioche caramelize beautifully.
  5. Add more margarine between batches. Keep finished slices warm on a sheet pan in a 200F oven.
  6. Serve stacked, dusted with powdered sugar, drizzled with maple syrup, berries alongside.
Breakfast Classics

CKD Waffles

The first known waffle recipe printed in English appeared in a 1725 London cookbook by Robert Smith, calling for a pint of cream, seven eggs, and a pound of butter.

CKD Waffles

Directions

  1. Add vinegar to almond milk, stir, let sit 5 min (it curdles slightly - that's correct).
  2. Whisk flour, baking powder, baking soda, sugar, salt in a large bowl.
  3. In a separate bowl, whisk egg yolks, almond milk mixture, oil, vanilla.
  4. In a third bowl (or stand mixer), beat egg whites to stiff peaks. This is the move that separates diner waffles from restaurant waffles.
  5. Pour wet into dry, stir until JUST combined - lumps are fine, overworking = tough waffles.
  6. Fold in whipped egg whites gently. The batter should look like a cloud with flour in it.
  7. Preheat waffle iron to medium-high. Lightly oil or spray. Pour batter to fill 2/3 of the iron surface.
  8. Cook until steam stops and waffle is deep golden (3-5 min depending on iron). DO NOT open early - you'll tear it.
  9. Serve immediately or keep crispy on a wire rack in a 200F oven. Never stack fresh waffles (steam = soggy).
Breakfast Classics

CKD Pancakes

Otzi the Iceman, the 5,300-year-old mummy found in the Alps in 1991, had traces of ground einkorn wheat in his stomach - possibly the oldest evidence of something resembling a pancake.

CKD Pancakes

Directions

  1. See narrative above
Breakfast Classics

CKD Eggs Benedict

Eggs Benedict was allegedly invented in 1894 at the Waldorf Hotel in New York City when a Wall Street broker named Lemuel Benedict ordered 'buttered toast, poached eggs, crisp bacon, and a hooker of hollandaise' to settle his hangover.

CKD Eggs Benedict

Directions

  1. See narrative above
Breakfast Classics

CKD Breakfast Burrito

The breakfast burrito as we know it was popularized in the 1970s in New Mexico, with Tia Sophia's restaurant in Santa Fe often credited as the first to put a complete breakfast inside a flour tortilla.

CKD Breakfast Burrito

Directions

  1. Brown crumbled turkey sausage in a skillet over medium heat until cooked through. Remove, set aside.
  2. In the same skillet, add oil. Saute bell pepper and onion until soft (3-4 min). Add garlic powder, cumin, paprika, pepper.
  3. Push veggies to one side. Add beaten eggs to the other side. Scramble on medium-low, stirring gently - large soft curds, not rubber. Pull off heat when eggs are STILL slightly wet (carryover cooking finishes them).
  4. Mix eggs, sausage, and veggies together. Add cheese while hot so it melts in.
  5. Warm tortillas in a dry skillet 15 seconds per side (or 10 seconds in microwave under a damp paper towel).
  6. Load filling down the center, fold sides in, then roll from the bottom. Tight but not bursting.
  7. Optional: sear the seam side down in a dry skillet for 30 seconds for a crispy seal.
Breakfast Classics

CKD Biscuits and Gravy

Biscuits and gravy became a staple of the American South during the Revolutionary War era, when wheat flour biscuits served with gravy made from pan drippings provided a cheap, calorie-dense meal for laborers and soldiers.

CKD Biscuits and Gravy

Directions

  1. See narrative above
Breakfast Classics

CKD Cinnamon Rolls

The kanelbulle, Sweden's cinnamon roll, is so culturally important that October 4th is officially 'Kanelbullens Dag' (Cinnamon Roll Day) - a national holiday since 1999.

CKD Cinnamon Rolls

Directions

  1. See narrative above
Breakfast Classics

CKD Breakfast Sandwich

The Egg McMuffin was invented by Herb Peterson, a McDonald's franchise owner in Santa Barbara, California, in 1972 - he was trying to create a fast-food version of Eggs Benedict.

CKD Breakfast Sandwich

Directions

  1. Form turkey sausage into a thin patty roughly the diameter of the English muffin. Season with pepper, a tiny bit of garlic powder. Cook in a skillet over medium heat - 3 min per side until cooked through and slightly crispy. Set aside.
  2. The egg ring trick: Use a metal ring mold (or a clean tuna can with both ends removed) in the same skillet. Grease with margarine. Crack egg into the ring. Pierce the yolk gently with a fork (this is a fast food dupe - flat egg, not a fried egg). Season with salt and pepper. Cook 2 min, flip the ring with the egg in it, cook 1 more min.
  3. Toast English muffin halves in the toaster or face-down in a dry skillet.
  4. Build: bottom muffin → sausage patty → cheese slice (place on hot sausage so it melts) → egg → top muffin.
  5. Wrap in foil or parchment for 1 min. The steam inside melds everything together. This is the step that separates homemade from sad.
Breakfast Classics

CKD Hash Browns

The term 'hash brown' first appeared in print in 1888 in a menu from Dayton, Ohio, described as 'hashed brown potatoes' - referring to the technique of hashing (chopping) and browning.

CKD Hash Browns

Directions

  1. K-LEACH (NON-NEGOTIABLE): Peel and shred potatoes using a box grater or food processor shredding disc. Place shredded potatoes in a large bowl of cold water. Soak for minimum 4 hours - overnight is better. Change the water at least once halfway through. This removes 40-50% of the potassium. Drain, rinse under cold water, then squeeze dry in a clean kitchen towel or cheesecloth. Squeeze HARD - the drier they are, the crispier they get. Moisture is the enemy of crunch.
  2. Toss the squeezed-dry shreds with salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder.
  3. Heat avocado oil in a large cast iron or non-stick skillet over medium-high heat. The oil should shimmer.
  4. Spread the potatoes in an even thin layer. Press down with a spatula. DO NOT TOUCH THEM for 5-6 min. Let the bottom crust form undisturbed.
  5. When the bottom is deep golden (lift a corner to check), flip in sections. Press down again. Cook another 4-5 min.
  6. The edges should be lacy and shatteringly crispy. The center should be tender. If your hash browns are pale and floppy, your oil wasn't hot enough or your potatoes were too wet.
Breakfast Classics

CKD Omelette Bar

The word 'omelette' derives from the French 'alumelle,' meaning thin blade - a reference to the flat shape of the egg dish, which first appeared in French cookbooks in the 1600s.

CKD Omelette Bar

Directions

  1. See narrative above
Breakfast Classics

CKD Crepes

The tradition of eating crepes on Candlemas (February 2) in France dates back to the 5th century, when Pope Gelasius I distributed crepes to pilgrims arriving in Rome - the round golden shape symbolized the sun and the approaching spring.

CKD Crepes

Directions

  1. Blend ALL batter ingredients in a blender for 15 seconds. Scrape sides, blend 5 more seconds. (You can whisk by hand, but blender = perfectly smooth batter.)
  2. Refrigerate batter 30 min minimum (1 hour ideal). This lets the gluten relax - no rubbery crepes.
  3. Heat an 8-10" non-stick skillet over medium heat. Lightly oil with a paper towel dipped in avocado oil.
  4. Pour ~3 tbsp batter into the center, then IMMEDIATELY tilt and swirl the pan in a circle to spread the batter into a thin even layer. Speed matters - you have about 3 seconds before it sets.
  5. Cook 1-2 min until the edges lift and the bottom is light golden with brown lace spots.
  6. Flip with a thin spatula (or your fingers if you're brave). Cook 30 seconds more.
  7. Stack finished crepes with parchment between them to prevent sticking. They'll stay pliable.
Breakfast Classics

CKD Granola

Granola was invented in 1863 by Dr. James Caleb Jackson at a health spa in Dansville, New York - he called it 'granula' and it was so hard it had to be soaked overnight before eating.

CKD Granola

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 300F. Line a large sheet pan with parchment.
  2. Mix oats and rice cereal in a large bowl.
  3. In a small saucepan, warm oil + honey + brown sugar over low heat until sugar dissolves. Stir in vanilla, cinnamon, salt.
  4. Pour wet mixture over dry. Toss until every flake is coated.
  5. Spread in an even layer on the sheet pan. Press down firmly with a spatula (this creates clusters).
  6. Bake 40-45 min, stirring ONCE at the 20-minute mark. The granola should be golden and fragrant. It will still feel soft - it crisps as it cools.
  7. Let cool COMPLETELY on the pan without touching it. Seriously. This is how clusters form.
  8. Once cool, break into chunks. Fold in coconut flakes and dried cranberries.
  9. Store in an airtight container. Lasts 2 weeks at room temperature.
Breakfast Classics

CKD Overnight Oats

Bircher muesli, the direct ancestor of overnight oats, was created around 1900 by Swiss physician Maximilian Bircher-Benner for patients at his sanatorium in Zurich.

CKD Overnight Oats

Directions

  1. Combine all ingredients in a jar or container with a lid.
  2. Stir well (or shake with lid on).
  3. Refrigerate overnight (minimum 6 hours).
  4. In the morning, stir. Add a splash more almond milk if too thick.
  5. Eat cold or microwave 1-2 min if you prefer warm.
Breakfast Classics

CKD Shakshuka

Shakshuka likely originated in Ottoman North Africa - the word comes from the Berber or Arabic for 'a mixture,' and the dish traveled across the Middle East before becoming Israel's national breakfast by the mid-20th century.

CKD Shakshuka

Directions

  1. Heat oil in a deep 10-12" skillet (cast iron ideal) over medium heat.
  2. Saute onion and bell pepper until soft (5-6 min).
  3. Add garlic, cook 30 seconds until fragrant. Add cumin, paprika, smoked paprika, cayenne, black pepper. Stir and toast spices 1 min - they should bloom in the oil and smell incredible.
  4. Add diced tomatoes (with liquid), salt, sugar. Stir and bring to a simmer. Cook 10-12 min, stirring occasionally, until the sauce thickens and reduces slightly. You want a thick sauce, not soup.
  5. Taste and adjust seasoning. The sauce should be bold and slightly smoky.
  6. Make 4 wells in the sauce with the back of a spoon. Crack one egg into each well.
  7. Cover the skillet with a lid. Reduce heat to medium-low. Cook 5-8 min: 5 min for runny yolks, 8 min for set yolks. Check frequently.
  8. Remove from heat. Garnish with cilantro/parsley and optional feta crumbles.
  9. Serve in the skillet with crusty white bread for scooping. Shakshuka is communal - everyone eats from the pan.
Breakfast Classics

CKD Chilaquiles

Chilaquiles comes from the Nahuatl word 'chilaquilitl,' meaning 'chilis and greens' - the dish was originally an ancient Aztec method for using stale tortillas, predating European contact in the Americas.

CKD Chilaquiles

Directions

  1. Make chips: Cut corn tortillas into triangles (6 per tortilla). Either fry in oil until golden and crispy (2-3 min per batch) OR brush with oil and bake at 375F for 12-15 min.
  2. Warm salsa verde in a large skillet over medium heat.
  3. Add the chips to the salsa. Toss gently to coat. Cook 2-3 min - you want the chips to soften slightly on the outside but stay crispy in the center. This is the soul of chilaquiles: the tension between crisp and sauced.
  4. While chips cook in salsa, fry eggs in a separate skillet (sunny side up or over easy - runny yolk is mandatory).
  5. Plate the sauced chips. Top with fried eggs. Garnish with crumbled cheese, sour cream, sliced onion, cilantro, lime wedge, avocado slices.
  6. Eat immediately. Chilaquiles wait for no one - they go from perfect to mush in 5 minutes.
American Soul Food

Bob's Ultra-Fresh Sweet & Spicy Ceviche

American Soul Food

Bob's Ultra-Fresh Sweet & Spicy Ceviche

Directions

  1. Cut seafood into 1/2" pieces. Place in glass bowl (never metal - acid reacts).
  2. Pour lime + lemon juice over seafood. Every piece must be submerged. Cover.
  3. Refrigerate minimum 30 min (shrimp) to 2 hours (firm fish). The acid "cooks" the protein - flesh turns opaque.
  4. Drain about half the citrus juice (too much = rubbery).
  5. Fold in mango, pineapple, cucumber, onion, jalapeño, serrano, cilantro, honey, olive oil.
  6. Add habanero if Bob's ghost is watching.
  7. Add avocado last - fold gently so it doesn't mush.
  8. Serve immediately in small bowls or on tostadas. Or eat it with a spoon standing at the counter.
American Soul Food

Susan's Cornbread with Hot Dogs

American Soul Food

Susan's Cornbread with Hot Dogs

Directions

  1. Grease cast iron skillet. Scatter hot dog coins across the bottom. Pour cornbread batter over them. Bake 400F 20-25 min until golden. Flip onto cutting board. The hot dogs are embedded in the bottom like fossils. Cut into wedges. Dip in mustard. Remember.
American Soul Food

S.O.S. - Mashed Potatoes with Hamburger Gravy

American Soul Food

S.O.S. - Mashed Potatoes with Hamburger Gravy

Directions

  1. Brown ground beef in skillet, breaking into small crumbles. Drain most fat, keep 2 tbsp.
  2. Sprinkle flour over meat + fat. Stir 1 min.
  3. Slowly add broth, whisking. Add all seasonings.
  4. Simmer until thick and bubbling, 4-5 min.
  5. Mash the leached potatoes with almond milk + margarine + seasonings.
  6. Pile potatoes on plate. Ladle hamburger gravy over the top. The gravy goes on the potatoes. The potatoes go in your mouth. Nothing else matters.
American Soul Food

1. Country Fried Steak & Gravy

American Soul Food

1. Country Fried Steak & Gravy

Directions

  1. Season flour with garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, pepper, cayenne, salt
  2. Dip steaks in egg/milk wash, then dredge in seasoned flour. Double-dredge for extra crispy (egg wash again, flour again)
  3. Fry in avocado oil (350F) 3-4 min per side until deep golden. Drain on wire rack.
  4. Gravy: Keep 3 tbsp drippings in pan. Whisk in flour, cook 1 min. Slowly add almond milk, whisking constantly. Simmer until thick (3-4 min). Season with pepper + salt + garlic powder.
  5. Serve steak with gravy poured over. Pair with CKD mashed potatoes (below).
American Soul Food

5. Golden Skillet Fried Chicken

American Soul Food

5. Golden Skillet Fried Chicken

Directions

  1. Soak chicken in almond milk "buttermilk" for 1 hour minimum (overnight better)
  2. Mix flour + cornstarch + ALL spices in a bowl
  3. Remove chicken from milk, dredge in flour mix. Press firmly. Let sit on rack 15 min (this sets the coating)
  4. Heat oil to 325F (NOT 350 - lower temp = juicier interior, crispier exterior, less oil absorption)
  5. Fry in batches, don't crowd. 14-16 min total, turning once. Internal temp 165F.
  6. Rest on wire rack 5 min before serving. DO NOT rest on paper towels (traps steam, gets soggy).
American Soul Food

9. Backyard Smokehouse Ribs

American Soul Food

9. Backyard Smokehouse Ribs

Directions

  1. DRAIN + RINSE beans 3 times (critical for K reduction)
  2. Mix tomato paste + water + brown sugar + vinegar + mustard + spices
  3. Combine beans + sauce + bacon in oven-safe dish
  4. Bake 350F 25-30 min until thick and bubbly
American Soul Food

14. Shrimp Scampi

American Soul Food

14. Shrimp Scampi

Directions

  1. Cook pasta. Heat oil + margarine. Saut garlic 1 min. Add shrimp, cook 2 min per side. Add wine + lemon + pepper flakes. Simmer 2 min. Toss with pasta. Top with parsley.
American Soul Food

Saturday Supreme Pizza

American Soul Food

Saturday Supreme Pizza

Directions

  1. Stretch dough on oiled sheet pan or pizza stone. Spread sauce thin (1/3 cup - too much = soggy). Layer cheese, then ALL toppings. Bake 450F directly on stone/lowest rack, 12-15 min until crust is golden and cheese bubbles. The supreme doesn't hold back and neither should you.
Chicken & Protein Mains

CKD CHICKEN SAUSAGE SPAGHETTI WITH RED SAUCE

Chicken & Protein Mains

CKD CHICKEN SAUSAGE SPAGHETTI WITH RED SAUCE

Directions

  1. Saut?? onion in olive oil 5 min until soft
  2. Add garlic, cook 1 min
  3. Add tomato paste, stir 1 min (caramelizes)
  4. Add crushed tomatoes, all dried spices, sugar, bay leaf
  5. Simmer LOW 30-45 min, stirring occasionally
  6. Remove bay leaf. Add fresh basil.
  7. Taste - adjust salt/sugar/pepper
Chicken & Protein Mains

CKD CHICKEN TINGA

Chicken & Protein Mains

CKD CHICKEN TINGA

Directions

  1. Sear chicken thighs in oil 3 min per side (browning = flavor). Remove.
  2. Same pan: cook onion 5 min. Add garlic 1 min.
  3. Add diced tomatoes, chipotles + adobo sauce, oregano, cumin, bay leaf
  4. Nestle chicken back in. Bring to simmer.
  5. Cover. Low heat 25-30 min until chicken shreds easily
  6. Remove chicken. Shred with two forks.
  7. Return shredded chicken to sauce. Simmer uncovered 5 min to thicken
  8. Remove bay leaf. Finish with lime juice.
Chicken & Protein Mains

CKD CHICKEN CACCIATORE

Chicken & Protein Mains

CKD CHICKEN CACCIATORE

Directions

  1. Season chicken lightly with salt + pepper. Brown skin-side down in oil 5 min. Flip 3 min. Remove.
  2. Same pan: cook onion + bell pepper 5 min
  3. Add garlic 1 min
  4. Deglaze with wine, scrape up browned bits
  5. Add crushed tomatoes, oregano, basil, red pepper flakes
  6. Nestle chicken back in, skin-side up
  7. Add capers (skip olives per Andrew preference) around chicken
  8. Cover. Simmer 30-35 min until chicken is 165F and falling off bone
  9. Garnish with parsley
Chicken & Protein Mains

CKD STEAK TACOS WITH PICO DE GALLO

Chicken & Protein Mains

CKD STEAK TACOS WITH PICO DE GALLO

Directions

  1. See narrative above
Chicken & Protein Mains

FROM-SCRATCH SAUSAGE GRINDING & STORAGE

Chicken & Protein Mains

FROM-SCRATCH SAUSAGE GRINDING & STORAGE

Directions

  1. Attach grinder to KitchenAid stand mixer
  2. Use medium grinding plate for Italian-style sausage (coarse for breakfast, fine for hot dogs)
  3. Keep meat COLD - partially freeze 20-30 min before grinding
  4. Cut into 1" cubes that fit the feed tube
  5. Run through once for standard texture, twice for smoother
Tex-Mex & Fast Food Dupes

14. Citrus Fire Carne Asada Marinade

Tex-Mex & Fast Food Dupes

14. Citrus Fire Carne Asada Marinade

Directions

  1. Whisk everything together. Place flank steak in a zip-lock bag or glass dish, pour marinade over, coat all surfaces. Refrigerate minimum 2 hours, overnight is better. Remove from fridge 30 min before grilling.
Tex-Mex & Fast Food Dupes

15. Reeser's Red Hot Beef Burrito

Tex-Mex & Fast Food Dupes

15. Reeser's Red Hot Beef Burrito

Directions

  1. Start with canned pinto beans (low-sodium if available, but regular works because you're rinsing)
  2. Drain ALL liquid - the canning liquid is where most of the sodium hides
  3. Rinse under cold running water in a colander for 30 seconds
  4. Soak in fresh cold water for 5 minutes
  5. Drain and rinse again - two more times (three total rinses)
  6. This triple-rinse removes approximately 40% of potassium and 40-50% of sodium
  7. Mash beans in a skillet with 1 tsp avocado oil + 1/2 tsp cumin + 1/4 tsp garlic powder. Add water 1 tbsp at a time to reach refried consistency
Tex-Mex & Fast Food Dupes

ITEM 1: Chicken Chalupa Supreme

Tex-Mex & Fast Food Dupes

ITEM 1: Chicken Chalupa Supreme

Directions

  1. Lay tortilla flat
  2. Spread sour cream across center third
  3. Layer: rice → meat → nacho cheese → shredded cheese
  4. Fold bottom up, sides in, top down (burrito fold)
  5. Place seam-down in dry skillet or panini press
  6. Grill 2 min per side until golden brown and cheese melts
  7. Cut in half diagonally
Tex-Mex & Fast Food Dupes

THE WINGS (Base Recipe)

Tex-Mex & Fast Food Dupes

THE WINGS (Base Recipe)

Directions

  1. Pat wings completely dry with paper towels. Moisture is the enemy of crispiness.
  2. Toss wings in a large bowl with baking powder, garlic powder, onion powder, smoked paprika, and black pepper until evenly coated.
  3. Arrange wings on a wire rack set over a rimmed baking sheet. Single layer, no touching.
  4. Refrigerate uncovered for 1 hour (or up to overnight) to dry the skin further.
  5. Preheat oven to 425 F (220 C).
  6. Spray wings lightly with olive oil.
  7. Bake 25 minutes. Flip each wing. Bake another 20-25 minutes until skin is golden and crackling.
  8. Toss 4-6 wings at a time in the sauce of your chosen round.
Mediterranean, Middle Eastern & International

KOSHER MEATBALLS

Mediterranean, Middle Eastern & International

KOSHER MEATBALLS

Directions

  1. Mix meatball ingredients. Roll into 1.5" balls (about 16)
  2. Brown in oil 3-4 min, turning. Remove.
  3. Same pan: saut?? onion + garlic 2 min. Add tomato paste, stir 1 min
  4. Add water + spices + sugar. Simmer 5 min
  5. Add meatballs back. Simmer covered 15 min
  6. Finish with lemon juice. Serve over rice or couscous
Mediterranean, Middle Eastern & International

HALAL LAMB & CHICKEN GYROS

Mediterranean, Middle Eastern & International

HALAL LAMB & CHICKEN GYROS

Directions

  1. Mix all ingredients thoroughly. Press into a flat loaf in a loaf pan (compact it - this creates the gyro meat texture)
  2. Bake at 350F for 55-60 min until internal temp is 165F
  3. Let cool 10 min. Slice thin (like deli meat)
  4. Optional: crisp slices in a hot skillet before serving (this is what makes food-cart gyro meat so good)
Mediterranean, Middle Eastern & International

PERSIAN KETCHUP (Cornelius, Oregon Food Cart Inspired)

Mediterranean, Middle Eastern & International

PERSIAN KETCHUP (Cornelius, Oregon Food Cart Inspired)

Directions

  1. Bloom saffron in 1 tbsp hot water. Set aside 5 min (turns golden)
  2. Saut?? garlic in oil 30 sec. Add tomato paste, stir 1 min (caramelizes slightly)
  3. Add water + saffron water + all spices + lemon + sugar
  4. Simmer 3-4 min until thick and glossy
  5. Add rose water if using. Cool. Store in jar.
Sauces, Dips & Dressings

FRESH BLENDER MARINARA (From Scratch - No Cans)

Sauces, Dips & Dressings

FRESH BLENDER MARINARA (From Scratch - No Cans)

Directions

  1. Quarter tomatoes. Leave seeds and juice - that's the sauce.
  2. Heat olive oil in deep skillet or Dutch oven. Sauté onion 4 min until soft.
  3. Add garlic 1 min. Add red pepper flakes.
  4. Add all the quartered tomatoes + juice. Smash them with a wooden spoon as they cook.
  5. Add oregano, sugar, pepper, salt, wine if using, half the basil.
  6. Simmer uncovered 20-25 min, stirring occasionally, until tomatoes break down completely.
  7. Hit it with an immersion blender - pulse to your preferred texture (chunky or smooth).
  8. Taste. Adjust salt/sugar/pepper. Add remaining fresh basil (raw).
  9. Use immediately or cool and jar. Keeps 5 days refrigerated, freezes 3 months.
Sauces, Dips & Dressings

CKD-AWARE NACHO CHEESE SAUCE (Restaurant-Style)

Sauces, Dips & Dressings

CKD-AWARE NACHO CHEESE SAUCE (Restaurant-Style)

Directions

  1. Microwave cream cheese 20 sec to soften
  2. Add milk, whisk smooth
  3. Add cheddar, microwave 20 sec, stir until melted
  4. Add all spices, stir
  5. Adjust thickness: more milk = thinner, more cream cheese = thicker
Sauces, Dips & Dressings

CKD-AWARE RANCH DRESSING

Sauces, Dips & Dressings

CKD-AWARE RANCH DRESSING

Directions

  1. Whisk everything together. Refrigerate 30 min for flavors to meld. Keeps 1 week.
Sauces, Dips & Dressings

CKD-AWARE COCKTAIL SAUCE

Sauces, Dips & Dressings

CKD-AWARE COCKTAIL SAUCE

Directions

  1. Mix all. Chill 15 min. Serve with shrimp, fish, or on anything.
Sauces, Dips & Dressings

CKD-AWARE THOUSAND ISLAND / SPECIAL SAUCE

Sauces, Dips & Dressings

CKD-AWARE THOUSAND ISLAND / SPECIAL SAUCE

Directions

  1. See narrative above
Sauces, Dips & Dressings

CKD-AWARE HONEY MUSTARD

Sauces, Dips & Dressings

CKD-AWARE HONEY MUSTARD

Directions

  1. See narrative above
Sauces, Dips & Dressings

CKD OLIVE GARDEN ITALIAN DRESSING (Exact Dupe)

Sauces, Dips & Dressings

CKD OLIVE GARDEN ITALIAN DRESSING (Exact Dupe)

Directions

  1. Whisk oil + vinegar + water + mayo until emulsified. Add all seasonings + sugar + lemon. Shake in jar. Refrigerate 1 hour minimum (overnight is better - herbs hydrate). Shake before using.
Sauces, Dips & Dressings

CKD CAPRESE SALAD

Sauces, Dips & Dressings

CKD CAPRESE SALAD

Directions

  1. See narrative above
Sauces, Dips & Dressings

CKD GREEK SALAD (Andrew's Version - No Olives)

Sauces, Dips & Dressings

CKD GREEK SALAD (Andrew's Version - No Olives)

Directions

  1. See narrative above
Sauces, Dips & Dressings

MOM'S RADIATORE WHITE WINE VINEGAR PASTA SALAD (CKD Clone)

Sauces, Dips & Dressings

MOM'S RADIATORE WHITE WINE VINEGAR PASTA SALAD (CKD Clone)

Directions

  1. Cook radiatore al dente per package. Drain. Rinse with cold water. Drain well.
  2. Whisk dressing: olive oil + white wine vinegar + sugar + garlic powder + oregano + basil + salt + pepper
  3. Toss cooled pasta with dressing
  4. Add cucumber, bell pepper, red onion, tomatoes, parsley
  5. Toss gently. Refrigerate minimum 1 hour (overnight is best - the pasta absorbs the vinegar dressing)
  6. Top with sharp cheddar shavings before serving. Taste - adjust vinegar/salt
Sauces, Dips & Dressings

CITRUS TYPHOON HOT SAUCE (Andrew's New Custom)

Sauces, Dips & Dressings

CITRUS TYPHOON HOT SAUCE (Andrew's New Custom)

Directions

  1. Blend ALL ingredients except starfruit chunks
  2. Simmer 15 min
  3. Add diced starfruit in the last 2 min (keeps some texture)
  4. Bottle hot
Sauces, Dips & Dressings

RINGSIDE STEAKHOUSE FRESH HORSERADISH PREP (Portland Clone)

Sauces, Dips & Dressings

RINGSIDE STEAKHOUSE FRESH HORSERADISH PREP (Portland Clone)

Directions

  1. Peel horseradish root. Cut into 1" chunks.
  2. Pulse in food processor until finely grated (open the lid AWAY from your face - the fumes are real)
  3. THE TIMING TRICK: The longer you wait to add vinegar, the HOTTER it gets. For Ringside-level heat, wait 3 minutes after grinding. For milder, add immediately.
  4. Add vinegar + sugar + salt. Pulse to combine.
  5. Transfer to a small glass jar. Refrigerate.
  6. Serve a small spoonful alongside prime rib, steak, or roast beef.
Hot Sauces

RECENT TROPICAL HOT SAUCE BATCH

Hot Sauces

RECENT TROPICAL HOT SAUCE BATCH

Directions

  1. Wash, trim, stem, peel, and rough-chop produce.
  2. Blend with apple cider vinegar until pourable.
  3. Simmer 8 to 10 minutes, stirring often.
  4. Strain if desired, then cool, bottle, label, and refrigerate.
  5. Store refrigerated or frozen unless a tested process validates this exact recipe.
Hot Sauces

ULTRAVIOLET - Blueberry Habanero

Hot Sauces

ULTRAVIOLET - Blueberry Habanero

Directions

  1. See narrative above
Baking: Cakes, Cookies & Treats

1. Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

Baking: Cakes, Cookies & Treats

1. Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

Directions

  1. Cream margarine + sugars. Beat in egg + vanilla. Mix flour + oats + leaveners + cinnamon. Combine wet + dry. Fold in chocolate chips. Scoop onto parchment-lined sheet. Bake 350F 10-12 min until edges golden, centers soft. Cool 5 min on sheet.
Baking: Cakes, Cookies & Treats

4. Andrew's Soft Carrot Cake

Baking: Cakes, Cookies & Treats

4. Andrew's Soft Carrot Cake

Directions

  1. Mix flour + BP + soda + spices + salt
  2. Beat oil + sugar + eggs + vanilla
  3. Fold dry into wet. Fold in carrots + pineapple
  4. Pour into 2 greased 9" round pans
  5. Bake 350F 28-32 min until toothpick clean
  6. Cool completely before frosting
  7. Frosting: beat cream cheese + margarine, gradually add powdered sugar + vanilla
Gluten-Free Breads & Pasta

1. GF Sourdough Bread (Rice Flour Starter + Loaf)

Gluten-Free Breads & Pasta

1. GF Sourdough Bread (Rice Flour Starter + Loaf)

Directions

  1. Whisk dry ingredients (rice flour, tapioca, potato starch, xanthan gum, salt) in KitchenAid bowl
  2. Add active starter, warm water, oil, sugar, vinegar
  3. Mix with paddle attachment on medium 3-4 min. Dough will be thick batter consistency - NOT like wheat dough. This is normal.
  4. Scrape into greased 9x5 loaf pan. Smooth top with wet spatula.
  5. Cover with damp towel or plastic wrap. Rise 4-8 hours at room temp (or overnight in fridge for deeper sour flavor - Andrew's preference)
  6. Score top with razor blade or sharp knife. Dust with rice flour.
  7. Bake 400F for 45-50 min. Internal temp 205-210F.
  8. Cool IN the pan 10 min, then on wire rack 1 hour minimum before slicing. GF bread MUST cool completely or it crumbles.
Gluten-Free Breads & Pasta

5. GF Fresh Pasta (Rice Flour - KitchenAid Pasta Roller)

Gluten-Free Breads & Pasta

5. GF Fresh Pasta (Rice Flour - KitchenAid Pasta Roller)

Directions

  1. Whisk rice flour, tapioca starch, xanthan gum, salt on clean counter or in KitchenAid bowl
  2. Make a well. Add eggs, yolk, olive oil to center.
  3. Using fork (or KitchenAid paddle on low), gradually incorporate flour into eggs until shaggy dough forms
  4. Knead by hand 3-4 min. Dough should be smooth, pliable, slightly tacky. If too dry, add water 1 tsp at a time. If too wet, add rice flour.
  5. Wrap in plastic. Rest 30 min at room temp. (This lets the xanthan gum hydrate - critical for rollability.)
  6. Divide into 4 portions. Keep unused portions wrapped.
  7. KitchenAid pasta roller: Start at widest setting. Roll through twice. Decrease one setting. Roll through. Repeat until desired thickness (setting 5-6 for fettuccine, setting 7 for angel hair).
  8. Switch to cutter attachment. Run sheets through fettuccine or spaghetti cutter.
  9. Dust cut pasta with rice flour. Toss gently. Cook within 1 hour or dry on pasta rack.
Drinks, Tea & Homebrew

KOMBUCHA (Non-Alcoholic Fermented Tea)

Drinks, Tea & Homebrew

KOMBUCHA (Non-Alcoholic Fermented Tea)

Directions

  1. Boil 4 cups water. Remove from heat. Add tea bags + sugar. Steep 15 min. Remove bags.
  2. Add remaining 10 cups cold water to bring to room temp
  3. Pour into glass jar/carboy (NOT metal - kills SCOBY)
  4. Add SCOBY + starter liquid
  5. Cover with cloth + rubber band (needs air flow, not airtight)
  6. Dark spot, room temp (68-85F), 7-14 days
  7. Taste at day 7 - sweet = needs more time, vinegary = done/over-fermented
  8. Target: slightly tart, slightly sweet, light fizz
Drinks, Tea & Homebrew

HONEY MEAD (Honey Wine - the oldest alcohol on earth)

Drinks, Tea & Homebrew

HONEY MEAD (Honey Wine - the oldest alcohol on earth)

Directions

  1. Put everything in a 1-gallon jug. Shake. Airlock. Wait 2 months. When the orange sinks, it's done. Strain. Drink. This recipe has been making first-time meadmakers for 20 years.
Drinks, Tea & Homebrew

FRUIT CIDER (Hard Cider from Fresh Juice)

Drinks, Tea & Homebrew

FRUIT CIDER (Hard Cider from Fresh Juice)

Directions

  1. Pour cider into sanitized carboy, leaving 3" headspace
  2. Add brown sugar if using, stir to dissolve
  3. Sprinkle yeast + nutrient
  4. Airlock. Dark spot. 60-70F.
  5. Ferment 2-3 weeks until bubbling stops
  6. Rack to secondary. Let clear 1-2 weeks.
  7. Bottle. Drinkable immediately. Better at 1 month.
Vorath Orbital Chips

RED -- Szechuan Ghost Pepper

Vorath Orbital Chips

RED -- Szechuan Ghost Pepper

Directions

  1. Combine all dry ingredients. Grind in spice grinder to uniform powder. Dust onto chips immediately after frying/baking while surface is still tacky.
Vorath Orbital Chips

ORANGE -- Mango Habanero Tajin

Vorath Orbital Chips

ORANGE -- Mango Habanero Tajin

Directions

  1. Pulse mango powder fine in spice grinder. Combine all ingredients. Apply to hot chips.
Vorath Orbital Chips

YELLOW -- Turmeric Curry Bomb

Vorath Orbital Chips

YELLOW -- Turmeric Curry Bomb

Directions

  1. Combine all. No grinding needed -- already powders. Toss with hot chips. Wear gloves or accept yellow fingers for 48 hours.
Vorath Orbital Chips

GREEN -- Wasabi Nori Furikake

Vorath Orbital Chips

GREEN -- Wasabi Nori Furikake

Directions

  1. Crumble nori by hand first, then pulse everything except sesame seeds in spice grinder. Fold sesame seeds in last. Apply to hot chips -- the tiny nori flecks should be visible.
Vorath Orbital Chips

BLUE -- Blue Cheese & Black Truffle

Vorath Orbital Chips

BLUE -- Blue Cheese & Black Truffle

Directions

  1. Combine all dry ingredients. Pulse briefly -- you want some texture from the chives, not total homogeneity. Apply to hot chips.
Vorath Orbital Chips

INDIGO -- Ube Coconut

Vorath Orbital Chips

INDIGO -- Ube Coconut

Directions

  1. Grind coconut flakes to near-powder (some small flake visible is fine -- texture matters). Combine all. Apply generously to hot chips.
Vorath Orbital Chips

VIOLET -- Lavender Honey Sea Salt

Vorath Orbital Chips

VIOLET -- Lavender Honey Sea Salt

Directions

  1. Grind lavender buds fine but not to dust -- you want to see them. Combine all. Apply to hot chips. The honey powder melts slightly on warm chips, creating a tacky glaze that holds the lavender.
Vorath Orbital Chips

AZATHOTH -- Szechuan Peppercorn & Black Garlic

Vorath Orbital Chips

AZATHOTH -- Szechuan Peppercorn & Black Garlic

Directions

  1. Toast whole Szechuan peppercorns in dry skillet until fragrant (~2 min). Grind. Combine with remaining ingredients. Apply to hot chips. The black dust against golden chips is visually stunning.
Vorath Orbital Chips

NYARLATHOTEP -- Ube & Reaper Ash

Vorath Orbital Chips

NYARLATHOTEP -- Ube & Reaper Ash

Directions

  1. Combine all. The charcoal will create dark veins through the purple ube powder -- don't over-mix. You want the marbled look. Apply to hot chips.
Vorath Orbital Chips

CTHULHU -- Seaweed & Lime

Vorath Orbital Chips

CTHULHU -- Seaweed & Lime

Directions

  1. Grind kelp first (it's tough). Crumble nori by hand. Combine all. Apply to hot chips. The nori flecks should be visible.
Vorath Orbital Chips

YOG-SOTHOTH -- Saffron & Sumac

Vorath Orbital Chips

YOG-SOTHOTH -- Saffron & Sumac

Directions

  1. Steep saffron threads in 1/2 tsp warm water for 5 minutes, then mix into dry ingredients to distribute color. Let dry 10 minutes. Apply to hot chips.
Vorath Orbital Chips

SHUB-NIGGURATH -- Mushroom Truffle & Thyme

Vorath Orbital Chips

SHUB-NIGGURATH -- Mushroom Truffle & Thyme

Directions

  1. Combine all. The porcini powder should be fine but not talc -- slight granularity gives texture. Apply to hot chips.
Vorath Orbital Chips

HASTUR -- Turmeric & Dried Mango

Vorath Orbital Chips

HASTUR -- Turmeric & Dried Mango

Directions

  1. Combine all ingredients. The mango powder can clump -- pulse briefly in spice grinder if needed. Apply to hot chips.
Vorath Orbital Chips

THE COLOUR -- Everything Seasoning

Vorath Orbital Chips

THE COLOUR -- Everything Seasoning

Directions

  1. Combine equal parts of all six Cosmic Horror blends. Do NOT over-mix -- you want distinct color pockets visible in the powder, not homogeneous brown. Apply generously to hot chips. Every chip will taste slightly different depending on which grains landed. That's the point.
Rice Treats, Snacks & Candy Bar Dupes

RICE TREATS

Rice Treats, Snacks & Candy Bar Dupes

RICE TREATS

Directions

  1. Soak sticky rice in water overnight (or minimum 4 hours)
  2. Steam rice in steamer basket lined with cheesecloth - 20-25 min until translucent and tender
  3. While hot: stir in coconut cream + sugar + salt. Let sit 10 min to absorb.
  4. Serve warm with fresh mango slices, drizzle extra coconut cream, sprinkle sesame seeds.
Rice Treats, Snacks & Candy Bar Dupes

4. Crisp Wafer Bar Dupe

Rice Treats, Snacks & Candy Bar Dupes

4. Crisp Wafer Bar Dupe

Directions

  1. Melt 1/2 cup chocolate chips in microwave (30 sec intervals, stir between)
  2. Stack 4 Nilla Wafers with thin chocolate layer between each
  3. Dip entire stack in chocolate. Set on parchment.
  4. Refrigerate 15 min until set.
  5. Cut in half for Kit Kat "fingers"
RENALWISE CKD Kitchen

Nacho Dust Tortilla Chips

RENALWISE CKD Kitchen

Nacho Dust Tortilla Chips

Directions

  1. Cut tortillas into triangles (6 per tortilla = 48 chips).
  2. Spread on sheet pan. Spray lightly with avocado oil.
  3. Bake 375F 8-10 min until crispy (or air fry 375F 6 min).
  4. Mix ALL seasoning in a bowl.
  5. While chips are still hot + slightly oily, toss in a bag with seasoning. Shake vigorously. The heat + oil makes the seasoning stick.
  6. Cool 5 min. They crisp further as they cool.
Sour, Chewy & Gummy Candy Lab

FESTIVAL COTTON CANDY - Iridescent, Glowing & Edible Light Art

Quinine fluoresces because its conjugated aromatic ring system absorbs UV light at 350nm and re-emits it as visible blue-violet light at 460nm - the same physics that makes your white T-shirt glow at a rave.

FESTIVAL COTTON CANDY - Iridescent, Glowing & Edible Light Art

Directions

  1. NEVER let anyone eat cotton candy that is still submerged in or dripping liquid nitrogen. The nitrogen must fully evaporate before the piece goes in anyone's mouth. Swallowing pooled liquid nitrogen causes severe internal frostbite/burns.
  2. Only use food-grade liquid nitrogen. Industrial-grade may contain contaminants. Source from welding supply stores that sell food-grade, or specialty food suppliers.
  3. Ventilation is non-negotiable. Liquid nitrogen displaces oxygen as it evaporates. In enclosed spaces, this can cause asphyxiation. ALWAYS use outdoors or in a very well-ventilated area. Never in a small room or tent.
  4. Wear cryogenic gloves and goggles. Brief skin contact with liquid nitrogen is survivable (Leidenfrost effect), but splashes in eyes or prolonged contact cause injury.
  5. Use insulated containers only. A dewar flask or insulated steel container. NEVER a sealed container - the gas expansion will cause it to explode.
  6. Designate one person as the LN2 handler. Nobody else touches the nitrogen. The handler dips, the handler serves.
  7. Wait 10-15 seconds after dipping before serving. The cotton candy piece should be fog-free and dry to the touch. If it's still steaming heavily, wait longer.
  8. Children must be supervised. An adult places the piece in their hand or directly in their mouth. Children do not handle LN2-dipped food themselves.
Sour, Chewy & Gummy Candy Lab

SUPER SOUR + SUPER HOT CROSSOVER CANDY

Sour, Chewy & Gummy Candy Lab

SUPER SOUR + SUPER HOT CROSSOVER CANDY

Directions

  1. Combine sugar, corn syrup, and water in heavy saucepan over medium heat. Stir until sugar dissolves.
  2. Stop stirring once it boils. Insert candy thermometer. Cook to 300F (hard crack stage).
  3. Remove from heat at 300F. Let cool 30 seconds.
  4. Stir in Carolina Reaper powder, malic acid, flavor extract, and food coloring. Work fast - the Reaper powder should be evenly distributed, no hot pockets.
  5. Pour into silicone molds or drop tablespoon-sized puddles onto parchment.
  6. Let cool completely (20-30 min).
  7. Mix citric acid into the Sour Coating Mix for an extra-sour exterior.
  8. Toss cooled candies in the sour coating while still slightly tacky.
  9. Wrap individually. Label clearly - someone WILL accidentally eat one thinking it's a normal sour candy.
Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

CKD Chocolate Fountain Setup

Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

CKD Chocolate Fountain Setup

Directions

  1. Melt the chocolate. Microwave chips + coconut oil in a large bowl, 30 seconds at a time, stirring between each. Do NOT let it seize (no water near the chocolate, ever). Total time: ~2-3 minutes.
  2. Preheat the fountain. Turn it on 5 minutes before adding chocolate. The auger and tiers need to be warm or the chocolate will solidify on contact.
  3. Pour the melted chocolate into the base of the fountain. Let it cycle for 1-2 minutes. If it's too thick, add coconut oil 1 Tbsp at a time. If it splatters, it's too thin - add more chips.
  4. Temperature sweet spot: 105-110°F (40-43°C). Most fountains have no thermostat, so monitor by touch - the base should be warm, not hot.
  5. Keep it running. Don't turn it off and on - the chocolate needs continuous movement or it'll seize in the pump.
Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

Chocolate-Covered Strawberries

Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

Chocolate-Covered Strawberries

Directions

  1. Wash and DRY strawberries thoroughly. This is the step people skip. Water + melted chocolate = grainy disaster. Use paper towels, let them air-dry 30 minutes, or gently blow-dry (no shame).
  2. Melt chocolate with coconut oil: microwave 30 sec intervals, stir each time. Should be smooth, not hot.
  3. Dip. Hold by the stem, submerge 2/3 of the berry. Lift, let excess drip 5 seconds, slight twist.
  4. Top immediately while chocolate is wet: sprinkles, crushed graham, etc. For drizzle, wait until base coat sets (5 min), then use a fork to zigzag contrasting chocolate across.
  5. Set on parchment-lined baking sheet. Refrigerate 15-20 minutes until firm.
  6. Edible gold: Dust with a dry brush after chocolate has fully set. Light hand - the gold should catch light, not coat.
Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

Chocolate-Covered Frozen Grapes

Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

Chocolate-Covered Frozen Grapes

Directions

  1. Wash grapes, remove from stems, dry thoroughly.
  2. Freeze grapes on a parchment-lined sheet for at least 2 hours. Overnight is better. They need to be rock-solid.
  3. Melt chocolate + coconut oil. Let it cool slightly - if it's too hot, it'll melt the grape surface and slide off.
  4. Skewer one grape at a time, dip into chocolate, tap off excess.
  5. Place back on parchment, return to freezer immediately.
  6. Freeze 15 more minutes until shell is set.
  7. Store in freezer in an airtight container. Pull out 5-10 at a time, let sit 2 minutes before eating for the best texture - frozen core, crackly shell.
Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

Chocolate-Covered Rice Krispie Pops

Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

Chocolate-Covered Rice Krispie Pops

Directions

  1. Make the Rice Krispie base: Melt margarine in a large pot over low heat. Add marshmallows, stir until completely melted. Remove from heat, fold in cereal. Use the KitchenAid with the paddle attachment if you want to keep your arms.
  2. Press into a 9x13 pan lined with parchment, greased with margarine. Press firmly and evenly. Cool 30 minutes.
  3. Cut into rectangles (~2"x3") or use cookie cutters for shapes.
  4. Insert sticks into the bottom of each piece, pushing halfway in.
  5. Freeze 15 minutes so they hold shape during dipping.
  6. Melt chocolate + coconut oil. Transfer to a tall, narrow container (a drinking glass works) for easy vertical dipping.
  7. Dip each pop, submerging the Rice Krispie portion. Let excess drip, rotate slowly.
  8. Decorate immediately: sprinkles, drizzle, crushed cereal, edible gold.
  9. Stand upright in a styrofoam block or heavy mug to set. Refrigerate 20 minutes.
Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

Chocolate Bark 3 Ways

Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

Chocolate Bark 3 Ways

Directions

  1. Line a sheet pan with parchment paper.
  2. Melt chocolate + coconut oil, stir until smooth.
  3. Pour onto parchment, spread to ~1/4" thickness with an offset spatula.
  4. Scatter toppings immediately while chocolate is wet. Press gently so they adhere.
  5. For drizzle toppings (caramel, contrasting chocolate): wait 2 minutes, then drizzle with a fork or squeeze bottle. Drag a toothpick through for a marble effect.
  6. Refrigerate 30-45 minutes until fully set.
  7. Break/snap into irregular pieces. Store in airtight container, fridge or room temp.
Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

Chocolate-Dipped Apple Slices

Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

Chocolate-Dipped Apple Slices

Directions

  1. Slice apples 1/4" thick. Soak in cold water + lemon juice for 2 minutes to prevent browning. Pat completely dry.
  2. Melt chocolate + coconut oil.
  3. Dip each slice halfway into chocolate. Let excess drip.
  4. Immediately press or sprinkle chosen topping onto wet chocolate.
  5. Lay on parchment-lined sheet, refrigerate 15 minutes.
  6. Serve with toppings in small bowls for build-your-own action.
Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

Chocolate Fruit Kabobs

Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

Chocolate Fruit Kabobs

Directions

  1. Prep all fruit: wash, dry, cut pineapple into cubes, leave strawberry stems on or remove (your call).
  2. Thread in alternating pattern: strawberry, marshmallow, pineapple, grape, blueberry cluster (thread 3-4 on at once), repeat. Alternate colors for visual impact.
  3. Lay finished kabobs on parchment-lined sheet.
  4. Melt chocolate, transfer to a squeeze bottle or ziplock bag with corner snipped.
  5. Drizzle chocolate across all kabobs in a zigzag pattern. Get dramatic with it.
  6. Optional: dust with edible gold, coconut flakes, or crushed freeze-dried fruit.
  7. Refrigerate 10 minutes to set the drizzle, then serve immediately. These don't store well - eat within 2 hours.
Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

CKD Hot Fudge Sauce

Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

CKD Hot Fudge Sauce

Directions

  1. Whisk cocoa and sugar in a small saucepan until blended (no lumps).
  2. Add almond milk, whisk over medium heat until it begins to simmer.
  3. Reduce heat to low, stir constantly for 3-4 minutes until it thickens enough to coat the back of a spoon.
  4. Remove from heat, stir in margarine, vanilla, and salt.
  5. Serve warm. It thickens as it cools - reheat in microwave 15 seconds to restore flow.
  6. Store in a jar in the fridge up to 2 weeks.
Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

CKD Chocolate Ganache

Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

CKD Chocolate Ganache

Directions

  1. Heat cream in a small saucepan until it just begins to simmer (tiny bubbles at edges). Do NOT boil.
  2. Pour hot cream over chocolate chips in a heatproof bowl.
  3. Let sit 2 minutes. Don't touch it.
  4. Stir slowly from the center outward in small circles, gradually incorporating all the chocolate. It will look broken at first - keep stirring. It will come together into a glossy, smooth ganache.
  5. For thick dip: Use immediately or refrigerate 30 minutes for truffle-like consistency.
  6. For pourable: Use within 10 minutes while still warm.
  7. To reheat: Microwave 10 seconds at a time, stirring between.
Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

White Chocolate Fruit Dip

Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

White Chocolate Fruit Dip

Directions

  1. Melt white chocolate chips in microwave, 30 sec intervals, stirring. Let cool 5 minutes (if it's too hot, it'll melt the cream cheese into soup).
  2. Beat cream cheese in the KitchenAid with the paddle attachment on medium until smooth and fluffy, ~2 minutes. Scrape sides.
  3. Add melted white chocolate and vanilla. Beat on low until just combined. Don't overmix or it'll thin out.
  4. Add powdered sugar if desired, beat briefly.
  5. Transfer to a serving bowl. Refrigerate 30 minutes to firm up, or serve immediately for a softer dip.
  6. Serve surrounded by: strawberries, apple slices, graham crackers, pear slices, pineapple chunks.
Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

The Vorathic Chocolate Fountain Party Platter

Chocolate, Fruit & The Fountain

The Vorathic Chocolate Fountain Party Platter

Directions

  1. Dip a clean, dry pastry brush into edible gold dust.
  2. Tap gently over the entire platter, letting gold particles drift down onto fruit, chocolate, marshmallows - everything.
  3. Dust the rim of the fountain basin with a heavier hand.
  4. If using LED lights: place the strip or fairy lights under the platter or around the fountain base. Purple or warm white light works best. The gold dust catches light and makes the whole thing shimmer.
PB&J, Nut Butters & Jellies

NUT BUTTERS (From Scratch, KitchenAid Food Processor)

PB&J, Nut Butters & Jellies

NUT BUTTERS (From Scratch, KitchenAid Food Processor)

Directions

  1. Add peanuts to food processor. Run 1 min - crumble stage. Scrape sides.
  2. Run 2-3 min more - will ball up, then break down into paste. This is the magic moment. Keep going.
  3. Run another 1-2 min until smooth and glossy. Add salt + honey + oil if desired. Pulse to combine.
  4. Transfer to glass jar. Stores 2-3 weeks at room temp, 2 months refrigerated.
PB&J, Nut Butters & Jellies

EXOTIC / RARE JELLIES & JAMS (From Scratch)

PB&J, Nut Butters & Jellies

EXOTIC / RARE JELLIES & JAMS (From Scratch)

Directions

  1. Bring water to boil. Remove from heat. Add lavender buds. Steep 20 min, covered. Strain through fine mesh - discard buds.
  2. Return lavender water to pot. Add lemon juice + pectin. Bring to rolling boil, stirring constantly.
  3. Add honey. Return to rolling boil for 1 min exactly. Remove from heat.
  4. Skim foam. Pour into sterilized jars. Process in water bath 10 min or refrigerator-store up to 3 weeks.
PB&J, Nut Butters & Jellies

VORATHIC RAINBOW PB&J LINE

PB&J, Nut Butters & Jellies

VORATHIC RAINBOW PB&J LINE

Directions

  1. Start with bottom sourdough slice. Spread thin layer of peanut butter. Add thin layer of strawberry jam.
  2. Continue layering: nut butter, then jelly, alternating through all 7 colors. Each layer should be ~2mm thick. Precision matters.
  3. Top with second sourdough slice. Press gently.
  4. Slice in half diagonally. The cross-section should reveal all 7 rainbow layers.
  5. Photograph before eating. This is art.
RENALWISE CKD Kitchen

UPSCALE GRILLED PB&J

RENALWISE CKD Kitchen

UPSCALE GRILLED PB&J

Directions

  1. Spread nut butter on one slice, jam on the other. Close sandwich.
  2. Spread margarine on both outer sides of the bread.
  3. Heat skillet or griddle over medium-low. Place sandwich. Cook 3-4 min per side until golden-brown and the inside is warm and melted.
  4. The key is LOW heat. High heat burns the bread before the inside melts. Patience.
  5. Slice diagonally. Let it cool 1 min - molten nut butter will burn your mouth and you will deserve it for not waiting.
Adult-Use Locked-Box Candy Cards

Adult-Use Legal-Input Gummy Squares

Plain adult-use locked-box card; legal labeled input only.

Adult-Use Legal-Input Gummy Squares

Directions

  1. Make a complete non-medicated control batch first and verify the texture, mold release, and piece count.
  2. If using a legal labeled input, record the label information on the worksheet and keep the original packaging with the batch record.
  3. Mix only when the base is uniform and the mold produces identical pieces; otherwise keep the batch non-medicated.
  4. Pour into uniform cavities, count finished pieces, label every container, and lock away immediately.
  5. Do not serve unlabeled pieces or leave the container accessible to children, pets, guests, or non-consenting adults.
Adult-only personal-use planning in legal jurisdictions. No extraction instructions, no sale guidance, no medical claims, no childlike packaging.
Adult-Use Locked-Box Candy Cards

Adult-Use Legal-Input Chocolate Bark Squares

Neutral locked-box chocolate card with weighed or cut uniform squares.

Adult-Use Legal-Input Chocolate Bark Squares

Directions

  1. Make a non-medicated chocolate bark control and confirm it sets, cuts, and stores cleanly.
  2. If using a legal labeled infused input, record the product label information before it enters the kitchen workflow.
  3. Melt gently, blend until visually uniform, spread to an even thickness, and chill until firm.
  4. Weigh or cut into uniform squares, label every container, and store in a locked location.
  5. Keep away from children, pets, guests, and anyone who has not consented.
Adult-only personal-use planning in legal jurisdictions. Chocolate and toppings require allergen labeling. Effects can be delayed.
Adult-Use Locked-Box Candy Cards

Adult-Use Legal-Input Hard Candy Drops

Hard candy is the control-sensitive card; do not medicate if uniformity is poor.

Adult-Use Legal-Input Hard Candy Drops

Directions

  1. Run a tiny non-medicated test first and verify drop size, cooling behavior, and release.
  2. Use this card only if the setup can produce uniform pieces and the batch can be labeled immediately.
  3. If using a legal labeled input, record the product label information on the worksheet before mixing.
  4. Pour or drop only into controlled, countable pieces. If drop size varies, keep the batch non-medicated.
  5. Label, lock, and separate from general candy tools and public candy storage.
Hard candy is less forgiving for even distribution. If control is poor, do not medicate the batch.
Herbal & Apothecary

WITCHES BREW - Apothecary Soups

Herbal & Apothecary

WITCHES BREW - Apothecary Soups

Directions

  1. Simmer broth + ginger + turmeric + garlic + thyme on low for 20 min. Strain. Add cayenne + lemon + honey + pepper. Drink from a mug. The medieval version had no measurements. Neither does yours - adjust everything by feel.
The Mushroom Farm

THE MUSHROOM FARM

The Mushroom Farm

THE MUSHROOM FARM

Directions

  1. Heat margarine in cast iron until foaming stops. Add chanterelles in single layer - DON'T CROWD (they steam instead of sear). Cook undisturbed 3 min until golden. Flip. Add garlic + thyme. Cook 2 min more. Deglaze with wine if using. Season. Serve on sourdough toast or alongside steak.
Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 1: Surf & Turf - Mini Ribeye & Garlic Butter Shrimp

Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 1: Surf & Turf - Mini Ribeye & Garlic Butter Shrimp

Directions

  1. Pat steak dry. Season both sides with pepper, garlic powder, paprika.
  2. Heat cast iron to smoking with avocado oil. Sear steak 3-4 min/side for medium-rare. Rest 5 min on cutting board.
  3. Same pan, reduce heat to medium. Add 2 Tbsp margarine + garlic. Cook 30 seconds until fragrant.
  4. Add shrimp in single layer. Cook 2 min/side until pink and curled. Squeeze lemon over top, toss with parsley.
  5. Slice steak against the grain. Fan on plate beside shrimp. Spoon garlic butter from pan over everything.
  6. Serve with jasmine rice.
Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 2: Mushroom & Gouda Risotto

Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 2: Mushroom & Gouda Risotto

Directions

  1. Heat broth in a saucepan, keep warm on low.
  2. In a wide pan, heat avocado oil over medium-high. Saute mushrooms until golden, ~5 min. Remove, set aside.
  3. Same pan, add 1 Tbsp margarine. Saute shallot + garlic 2 min.
  4. Add rice, stir 1 min to toast. Add wine, stir until absorbed.
  5. Add warm broth 1/2 cup at a time, stirring frequently. Wait until mostly absorbed before adding more. ~18-20 min total.
  6. When rice is creamy and al dente, fold in mushrooms, gouda, remaining margarine, thyme, lemon juice. Pepper to taste.
Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 3: Honey-Garlic Chicken Thighs with Jasmine Rice

Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 3: Honey-Garlic Chicken Thighs with Jasmine Rice

Directions

  1. Whisk honey, soy sauce, garlic, rice vinegar, ginger in a bowl.
  2. Heat avocado oil in cast iron over medium-high. Place thighs skin-side down. Cook 6-7 min until skin is deeply golden and crisp.
  3. Flip. Pour honey-garlic sauce over thighs. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover loosely. Cook 12-15 min until internal temp hits 175F.
  4. Uncover last 3 min, spoon sauce over thighs to glaze.
  5. Serve over jasmine rice. Top with green onion and sesame seeds.
Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 4: Cast Iron Steak with Compound Herb Butter

Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 4: Cast Iron Steak with Compound Herb Butter

Directions

  1. Compound butter: Mix margarine, rosemary, thyme, garlic, lemon zest, pepper. Roll in plastic wrap into a log. Refrigerate 20 min (or freeze 10 min).
  2. Pull steak from fridge 30 min before cooking. Pat dry aggressively. Season with pepper and garlic powder.
  3. Heat cast iron until it smokes slightly. Add avocado oil.
  4. Lay steak away from you. Do not touch for 4 min. Flip once. Cook 3-4 min more for medium-rare (130F internal).
  5. Rest 5 min. Top each portion with a thick coin of compound butter.
  6. Pair with jasmine rice or sourdough bread.
Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 5: Thai Basil Chicken (Pad Gra Prao) over Rice

Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 5: Thai Basil Chicken (Pad Gra Prao) over Rice

Directions

  1. Heat avocado oil in wok or large skillet over high heat.
  2. Add garlic + chili, stir 30 seconds.
  3. Add ground chicken, break apart. Cook 5-6 min until browned and crispy in spots.
  4. Add soy sauce, fish sauce, honey. Toss 1 min.
  5. Kill heat. Add Thai basil, stir until just wilted. Squeeze lime over top.
  6. Serve over jasmine rice. Top with fried egg if desired.
Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 6: Lemon Herb Salmon with Rice

Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 6: Lemon Herb Salmon with Rice

Directions

  1. Mix lemon juice, zest, dill, garlic, pepper in a small bowl.
  2. Pat salmon dry. Coat flesh side with lemon-herb mixture. Let sit 10 min.
  3. Heat avocado oil + margarine in a nonstick pan over medium-high.
  4. Place salmon skin-side up. Sear 3-4 min until golden crust forms. Flip gently. Cook 3 min more.
  5. Serve skin-side down over jasmine rice. Spoon any pan juices over top.
Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 7: Chicken Alfredo (Cauliflower Cream Sauce for CKD)

Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 7: Chicken Alfredo (Cauliflower Cream Sauce for CKD)

Directions

  1. Boil cauliflower in large pot of water for 15 min (leaches K). Drain. Blend with almond milk until silky smooth.
  2. Cook pasta in fresh boiling water per package. Drain.
  3. Season chicken with Italian seasoning + pepper. Sear in avocado oil over medium-high, 3 min/side. Slice.
  4. In same pan, add margarine + garlic. Cook 1 min. Pour in cauliflower puree. Stir in gouda + mozzarella until melted. Add lemon juice.
  5. Toss pasta in sauce. Top with sliced chicken.
Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 8: Loaded Nachos (Homemade CKD Nacho Cheese)

Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 8: Loaded Nachos (Homemade CKD Nacho Cheese)

Directions

  1. Nacho cheese: Whisk almond milk + cornstarch in small saucepan over medium heat until slightly thickened. Add cheddar, garlic powder, paprika, cayenne. Stir until smooth and pourable.
  2. Spread chips on a sheet pan. Layer shredded chicken over chips.
  3. Drizzle nacho cheese over everything. Add jalapenos.
  4. Broil 2-3 min until cheese bubbles.
  5. Top with sour cream, avocado, cilantro, lime juice.
Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 9: Breakfast for Dinner - Country Fried Steak, Eggs & Biscuits

Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 9: Breakfast for Dinner - Country Fried Steak, Eggs & Biscuits

Directions

  1. Mix flour, garlic powder, paprika, pepper on a plate.
  2. Dip cube steak in beaten egg, then dredge in seasoned flour. Press coating on firmly.
  3. Heat avocado oil in cast iron over medium-high. Fry steak 3-4 min/side until golden crust. Rest on wire rack.
  4. Gravy: Pour off all but 1 Tbsp drippings. Add margarine, melt. Whisk in flour, cook 1 min. Slowly whisk in almond milk. Stir until thickened, ~3 min. Hit it with generous black pepper.
  5. Fry eggs in a separate pan.
  6. Plate: steak, ladle gravy, eggs on the side, warm biscuit.
Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 10: Chocolate Lava Mug Cake for Two

Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 10: Chocolate Lava Mug Cake for Two

Directions

  1. Divide dry ingredients (flour, cocoa, sugar, baking powder) between two large microwave-safe mugs. Stir each.
  2. Add half the almond milk, oil, and vanilla to each mug. Stir until just combined - few lumps OK.
  3. Push 1 Tbsp chocolate chips into the center of each mug. Don't stir them in.
  4. Microwave each mug 60-90 seconds on high. Center should be slightly jiggly (that's the lava).
  5. Let stand 1 min. Eat from the mug.
Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 11: Strawberry Cheesecake Bites (No Bake)

Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 11: Strawberry Cheesecake Bites (No Bake)

Directions

  1. Beat cream cheese, powdered sugar, vanilla, and lemon juice until fluffy.
  2. Fold in diced strawberries gently.
  3. Scoop into 6 balls using a tablespoon. Roll each in graham cracker crumbs.
  4. Place on parchment-lined plate. Freeze 20 min or refrigerate 1 hour until firm.
  5. Serve cold.
Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 12: Late Night Quesadilla - Smoked Gouda & Chicken

Date Night & Recommended Favorites

Recipe 12: Late Night Quesadilla - Smoked Gouda & Chicken

Directions

  1. Lay tortillas flat. Distribute gouda and chicken on one half of each.
  2. Add jalapenos if desired. Fold tortillas in half.
  3. Melt margarine in a skillet over medium heat. Place quesadillas in pan.
  4. Cook 3 min/side until tortilla is golden and cheese is fully melted.
  5. Slice each into 3 wedges. Serve with sour cream and lime.
Holiday Foods

1. Summer Pulled Chicken Sliders

Holiday Foods

1. Summer Pulled Chicken Sliders

Directions

  1. Rub chicken thighs with oil + all dry spices. Let sit 30 min minimum.
  2. Oven method: 325F for 2.5 hours, covered, until shreds easily. Slow cooker: Low 6-7 hours.
  3. Shred with two forks. Mix BBQ sauce ingredients in a saucepan, simmer 5 min.
  4. Toss shredded chicken with BBQ sauce. Pile onto slider buns, top with coleslaw.
Holiday Foods

11. Honey-Glazed Holiday Roast

Holiday Foods

11. Honey-Glazed Holiday Roast

Directions

  1. Score the surface in a diamond pattern, about 1/4" deep. Place in roasting pan.
  2. Mix all glaze ingredients. Brush half the glaze over meat.
  3. Roast 325F, about 20 min per pound. Baste with remaining glaze every 30 min.
  4. Internal temp: Turkey 165F, Beef 135F (medium). Rest 15 min before slicing. Portion: 3-4oz per CKD serving.
Holiday Foods

16. Deviled Eggs

Holiday Foods

16. Deviled Eggs

Directions

  1. Hard-boil eggs: Place in single layer, cover with cold water by 1". Bring to boil. Cover, remove from heat, let sit 12 min. Ice bath immediately.
  2. Peel. Halve lengthwise. Scoop yolks into bowl.
  3. Mash yolks with mayo + mustard + vinegar + sugar + salt + pepper until smooth and creamy. No lumps.
  4. Pipe or spoon filling back into whites. Dust with paprika.
  5. Chill 30 min before serving. Best same day.
Holiday Foods

1. Chinese New Year Dumplings (Jiaozi)

Holiday Foods

1. Chinese New Year Dumplings (Jiaozi)

Directions

  1. Wrappers: Mix flour + salt. Pour boiling water in, stir with chopsticks until shaggy. Knead 8-10 min until smooth and elastic. Cover, rest 30 min. Roll into a log, cut 30 pieces, roll each into a thin 3.5" circle.
  2. Filling: Squeeze excess water from cabbage. Mix all filling ingredients until combined - don't overwork.
  3. Place 1 heaping tsp filling in center of each wrapper. Fold in half, pleat one edge, press to seal firmly.
  4. Pan-fry: Heat 1 tbsp avocado oil in nonstick skillet over medium-high. Place dumplings flat-side down. Cook 2 min until golden. Add 1/3 cup water, cover immediately. Steam 5-6 min until water evaporates and bottoms re-crisp.
  5. Serve with dipping sauce. Portion: 5-6 dumplings per CKD serving.
Holiday Foods

1. Wild Cod Fish Tacos

Holiday Foods

1. Wild Cod Fish Tacos

Directions

  1. Pat cod dry. Mix chili powder + cumin + garlic powder + paprika + salt. Rub both sides.
  2. Heat oil in skillet over medium-high. Sear cod 3-4 min per side until flaky. Break into chunks.
  3. Toss slaw ingredients. Warm tortillas in dry skillet 30 sec each side.
  4. Load tortillas: cod, slaw, squeeze of lime. No sour cream needed.
Historical Era Dishes

Ancient Rome (~100 AD) - Pullum Numidicum (Numidian Chicken)

Historical Era Dishes

Ancient Rome (~100 AD) - Pullum Numidicum (Numidian Chicken)

Directions

  1. Season chicken thighs with cumin, coriander, pepper, and salt. Let sit 15 minutes.
  2. Heat avocado oil in a Dutch oven over medium-high. Sear thighs skin-side down 5 minutes until deeply golden. Flip, sear 2 minutes. Remove.
  3. Reduce heat to medium. Add chopped dates and pine nuts. Stir 1 minute until pine nuts are lightly toasted.
  4. Add vinegar, honey, and 1/2 cup water. Scrape up fond. Bring to simmer.
  5. Return chicken to pot, skin-side up. Cover and braise 25 minutes at 325°F in oven.
  6. Uncover, increase to 400°F for 10 minutes to re-crisp skin.
  7. Finish with lemon zest and torn mint. Serve over white rice.
Historical Era Dishes

Medieval England (~1350) - Blancmange (White Eating)

Historical Era Dishes

Medieval England (~1350) - Blancmange (White Eating)

Directions

  1. Poach chicken breast in 3 cups water with a pinch of salt, 20 minutes. Reserve 1/2 cup poaching liquid. Shred chicken extremely fine (or pulse in food processor - the medievals used a mortar and stamped it).
  2. In a saucepan, whisk almond milk with rice flour over medium heat until it begins to thicken, ~5 minutes.
  3. Add shredded chicken, sugar, ginger, cinnamon, reserved poaching liquid. Stir until mixture is thick and creamy, ~8 minutes. It should be the texture of thick porridge.
  4. Serve in a shallow bowl, garnished with slivered almonds and an extra dust of cinnamon.
  5. Optional: chill and serve cold, as many medieval feasts did. It sets like a savory pudding.
Historical Era Dishes

Colonial America (~1776) - Hoecakes with Honey

Historical Era Dishes

Colonial America (~1776) - Hoecakes with Honey

Directions

  1. Place cornmeal and salt in a bowl. Pour boiling water over it and stir. Let stand 5 minutes - this is called "scalding" the meal and prevents grittiness.
  2. Stir in melted margarine and egg until smooth. Batter should be thick but pourable. Add a splash of cold water if needed.
  3. Heat a cast iron skillet (or any flat griddle - or a hoe blade if you're authentic) over medium heat. Grease with margarine.
  4. Drop batter by 1/4 cup onto skillet. Cook 3 minutes per side until golden and crispy-edged.
  5. Stack, drizzle with honey. Eat like a founding father.
Historical Era Dishes

Edo Japan (~1700) - Tamago Gohan (Egg Rice)

Historical Era Dishes

Edo Japan (~1700) - Tamago Gohan (Egg Rice)

Directions

  1. Place steaming hot rice in a bowl.
  2. Crack egg directly onto rice. Add soy sauce, margarine, and rice vinegar.
  3. Stir vigorously with chopsticks for 60 seconds. The heat of the rice partially cooks the egg into a silky, glossy coating.
  4. Top with sesame seeds and scallion greens.
  5. Eat immediately. This is not a dish that waits.
Historical Era Dishes

Ottoman Empire (~1500) - Lamb Kebab with Yogurt Sauce

Historical Era Dishes

Ottoman Empire (~1500) - Lamb Kebab with Yogurt Sauce

Directions

  1. Mix lamb with onion, cumin, coriander, paprika, Aleppo pepper, and salt. Form into 4 elongated patties around flat metal skewers (or shape into logs without skewers).
  2. Grill over high heat or broil 4-5 minutes per side until charred outside, just done inside. Lamb kebab should not be overcooked - medium is traditional.
  3. Mix yogurt sauce ingredients. Let sit while kebabs cook.
  4. Warm tortillas on the grill 30 seconds per side.
  5. Serve kebabs on flatbread, spoon yogurt sauce over, add cucumber slices.
Historical Era Dishes

Ancient Egypt (~2000 BC) - Beer Bread

Historical Era Dishes

Ancient Egypt (~2000 BC) - Beer Bread

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 375°F. Grease a loaf pan with margarine.
  2. Mix flour, salt, and honey in a large bowl. Pour in beer. Stir until just combined - do not overmix. Batter will be thick and shaggy.
  3. Pour into loaf pan. Drizzle melted margarine over the top.
  4. Bake 55-60 minutes until golden on top and a toothpick comes out clean.
  5. Cool 10 minutes in pan, then turn out. Slice thick.
Historical Era Dishes

American Frontier (~1850) - Cowboy Beans & Hardtack

Historical Era Dishes

American Frontier (~1850) - Cowboy Beans & Hardtack

Directions

  1. See narrative above
Historical Era Dishes

French Revolution (~1789) - Potage Parmentier (Potato Leek Soup)

Historical Era Dishes

French Revolution (~1789) - Potage Parmentier (Potato Leek Soup)

Directions

  1. Peel and cube potatoes. Soak in a large bowl of cold water for 2-4 hours, changing water once. This leaches 30-50% of potassium. Drain and rinse.
  2. Melt margarine in a heavy pot over medium heat. Add leeks. Cook 8-10 minutes until soft, stirring occasionally. Do not brown - this is a white soup.
  3. Add drained potatoes, broth, thyme, and bay leaf. Bring to boil, reduce to simmer. Cook 20 minutes until potatoes are falling apart.
  4. Remove thyme stems and bay leaf. Blend with an immersion blender until smooth (or leave slightly chunky - both are traditional).
  5. Stir in almond milk. Season with white pepper and salt. Heat through.
  6. Serve with snipped chives and a grind of white pepper.
Historical Era Dishes

Silk Road (~800 AD) - Persian Jeweled Rice (Morasa Polo)

Historical Era Dishes

Silk Road (~800 AD) - Persian Jeweled Rice (Morasa Polo)

Directions

  1. Rinse rice until water runs clear. Soak in salted water 30 minutes. Drain.
  2. Boil a large pot of water. Par-cook rice 6 minutes - it should be barely tender, still with a bite. Drain immediately.
  3. Steep saffron in 2 Tbsp hot water. Set aside.
  4. In a small pan, toast almonds in 1 Tbsp margarine 2 minutes. Add cranberries, apricot slivers, orange zest, cardamom, cinnamon, cumin, sugar. Toss 1 minute. Remove from heat.
  5. Tahdig: In a non-stick pot, heat avocado oil + 1 Tbsp margarine over medium heat. Spread a thin layer of par-cooked rice on the bottom, pressing gently.
  6. Layer remaining rice loosely on top, mounding it. Drizzle saffron water over the mound. Dot with remaining margarine.
  7. Wrap lid in a kitchen towel (absorbs steam - essential for crispy tahdig). Cook on medium 5 minutes, then reduce to lowest heat for 40 minutes.
  8. To serve: place a plate over the pot and flip. The golden tahdig should be on top, the jeweled rice beneath. Scatter the fruit-nut mixture over everything.
Historical Era Dishes

Depression Era America (~1935) - Mock Apple Pie (Ritz Cracker Pie)

Historical Era Dishes

Depression Era America (~1935) - Mock Apple Pie (Ritz Cracker Pie)

Directions

  1. Make crust (or use store-bought): Cut margarine into flour and salt. Add ice water 1 Tbsp at a time until dough holds. Divide in half. Roll out bottom crust, fit into 9-inch pie plate. Roll top crust, set aside.
  2. Make syrup: Combine water, sugar, cream of tartar, lemon juice, and lemon zest in a saucepan. Boil 1 minute. Let cool 5 minutes.
  3. Layer broken Ritz crackers in the pie crust. Pour syrup evenly over crackers. Sprinkle with cinnamon. Dot with margarine.
  4. Cover with top crust. Crimp edges. Cut 4 steam vents. Brush top with a little almond milk and sprinkle of sugar.
  5. Bake at 425°F for 15 minutes. Reduce to 375°F and bake 20-25 more minutes until golden.
  6. Cool completely before cutting. The crackers dissolve into something that genuinely tastes like baked apples.
Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 1: CKD S'mores

Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 1: CKD S'mores

Directions

  1. Break each graham cracker sheet in half so you have 16 squares total.
  2. Place one piece of chocolate on a graham square.
  3. Toast marshmallow over coals (not flame - patience). Rotate slowly. Golden-brown on all sides. If it catches fire, blow it out; you now have a "charred" s'more, which some people prefer. No judgment.
  4. Place hot marshmallow on top of chocolate. Press second graham square on top. Squeeze gently. The heat melts the chocolate.
  5. Hold for 10 seconds. Eat. Repeat.
Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 2: Campfire Hot Dogs (Turkey Dogs on Sticks)

Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 2: Campfire Hot Dogs (Turkey Dogs on Sticks)

Directions

  1. Skewer each hot dog lengthwise through the center on a roasting stick.
  2. Hold over hot coals (not direct flame). Rotate slowly. Cook 5-7 minutes until skin is blistered and slightly charred on all sides.
  3. Place in bun. Top with mustard, no-salt ketchup, onion, relish.
  4. Eat immediately. This is not a food that improves with waiting.
Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 3: Foil Pack Chicken & Veggies

Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 3: Foil Pack Chicken & Veggies

Directions

  1. Mix paprika, garlic powder, onion powder, oregano, and pepper in a small bowl.
  2. Toss chicken thighs with half the seasoning mix and 1 Tbsp avocado oil.
  3. Toss bell pepper, onion, and garlic with remaining seasoning and 1 Tbsp oil.
  4. Lay out two sheets of foil. Divide veggies between them, placing in center. Top each with one chicken thigh. Squeeze lemon juice over top.
  5. Fold foil: bring long sides together, fold down twice. Fold short ends up and over to seal. No gaps. Steam must stay inside.
  6. Place foil packs directly on hot coals (not flame). Cook 20-25 minutes, flipping once at 10 minutes.
  7. Remove with tongs (leather gloves recommended). Let rest 2 minutes before opening - steam will escape and it's 212F inside.
  8. Open carefully, eat directly from foil. One less dish to wash in the woods.
Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 4: Foil Pack Fish (Wild Salmon or Cod)

Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 4: Foil Pack Fish (Wild Salmon or Cod)

Directions

  1. Lay out two sheets of foil. Place 3-4 lemon slices in center of each as a bed for the fish.
  2. Place one fillet skin-side down on lemon slices. Top with garlic slices, dill sprigs, 1 Tbsp margarine, and pepper.
  3. Seal foil packs tightly (same fold method as Recipe 3).
  4. Place on hot coals. Cook 12-15 minutes for salmon, 10-12 for cod. Do not flip - the lemon bed protects the bottom.
  5. Open carefully. Fish should flake with a fork. If translucent in center, reseal and give it 3 more minutes.
  6. Squeeze any remaining lemon from the slices over the fish before eating.
Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 5: Campfire Corn on the Cob

Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 5: Campfire Corn on the Cob

Directions

  1. Submerge corn (husk still on, silk still in) in water for 15-30 minutes. This prevents husk from incinerating and creates steam inside.
  2. Place soaked corn directly on hot coals. Cook 15-18 minutes, rotating with tongs every 4-5 minutes. Husk will char and blacken - this is correct.
  3. Remove with tongs. Let cool 3 minutes (the husk is an insulator and the corn inside is superheated).
  4. Peel back husk and silk (they come off easily when charred). The corn underneath will be perfectly steam-roasted with slight char marks.
  5. Spread margarine, squeeze lime, dust with chili powder and pepper.
Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 6: Dutch Oven Chili

Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 6: Dutch Oven Chili

Directions

  1. Build your fire and let it burn down to a thick bed of coals. You want steady radiant heat, not flames licking the sides of the pot.
  2. Set Dutch oven on coals (or on a grate over the fire pit). Add avocado oil.
  3. Brown ground turkey, breaking it into small pieces. 5-7 minutes. Remove and set aside.
  4. Add onion, bell pepper, garlic to the pot. Cook 3-4 minutes until softened.
  5. Add all spices (chili powder, cumin, paprika, oregano, cayenne, pepper). Stir 1 minute to bloom - you'll smell it transform.
  6. Return turkey to pot. Add diced tomatoes, tomato sauce, triple-rinsed beans, and water/broth.
  7. Stir well. Place lid on Dutch oven.
  8. Cook over coals 45 minutes to 1 hour, stirring every 15 minutes. Adjust fire as needed - you want a gentle simmer, not a rolling boil. If it's too hot, move the pot to the edge of the coals.
  9. Stir in lime juice. Taste and adjust spices.
  10. Serve in bowls. Top with diced onion if desired. No sour cream (phosphate additives) - use a squeeze of lime instead.
Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 7: Campfire Quesadillas

Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 7: Campfire Quesadillas

Directions

  1. Place cast iron skillet on grate over campfire (or balanced on rocks above coals). Let it get hot - 2-3 minutes.
  2. Brush one side of each tortilla with avocado oil.
  3. Place tortilla oil-side down in skillet. Layer: half the cheese, half the chicken, bell pepper, garlic powder, cumin, remaining chicken, remaining cheese.
  4. Top with second tortilla, oil-side up.
  5. Cook 2-3 minutes until bottom is golden and crispy. Flip carefully (two spatulas, or the brave man's one-hand flip). Cook 2-3 minutes more.
  6. Remove from skillet. Let rest 1 minute. Cut into quarters. Squeeze lime over top.
Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 8: Hobo Stew

Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 8: Hobo Stew

Directions

  1. Heat a large pot (or Dutch oven) over campfire coals. Add avocado oil.
  2. Brown ground turkey, breaking into pieces. 5-7 minutes. Season with pepper and thyme.
  3. Add onion, celery, garlic. Cook 3-4 minutes.
  4. Add leached/drained potatoes, carrots, diced tomatoes, broth, and bay leaf.
  5. Bring to a simmer (not a boil). Cover. Cook 30-40 minutes until potatoes are tender.
  6. Remove bay leaf. Stir in lemon juice.
  7. Serve in camp mugs or bowls. This is the kind of meal that tastes better outside.
Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 9: Campfire Nachos (in Foil)

Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 9: Campfire Nachos (in Foil)

Directions

  1. Spread chips in a single layer on foil tray.
  2. Top with seasoned turkey, bell pepper, onion, jalapeno.
  3. Pour or dollop nacho cheese over everything (or distribute shredded cheese evenly).
  4. Cover loosely with foil.
  5. Place on grate over campfire coals. Heat 5-8 minutes until cheese is melted and bubbly.
  6. Remove (tongs + gloves). Uncover. Top with cilantro and lime juice.
  7. Eat directly from tray. Everyone grabs from the center. This is communal food.
Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 10: Campfire Banana Boats

Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 10: Campfire Banana Boats

Directions

  1. Leave the peel on. With a sharp knife, slice each banana lengthwise through the peel on the inner curve (the concave side) - cut deep but don't go through the bottom peel.
  2. Gently spread the slit open. Stuff with chocolate chips and marshmallows, pressing them into the banana flesh.
  3. Wrap each banana tightly in foil.
  4. Place on hot coals. Cook 5-7 minutes.
  5. Remove with tongs. Unwrap carefully (steam!). The banana will be soft, the chocolate melted, the marshmallows gooey.
  6. Eat with a spoon directly from the peel. No plate needed.
Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 11: The Perfect Grilled Steak

Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 11: The Perfect Grilled Steak

Directions

  1. Remove steak from fridge 30 minutes before grilling. Room temp = even cooking. This is not optional.
  2. Pat completely dry with paper towels. Moisture is the enemy of crust.
  3. Rub with avocado oil. Season generously with pepper and garlic powder on both sides.
  4. Get the grill screaming hot. If you can hold your hand 6 inches above the grate for more than 2 seconds, it's not hot enough.
  5. Place steak on grill. Do not touch it for 4 minutes. Do not press it. Do not move it. Crust is forming. Leave it alone.
  6. Flip once. 4 minutes more for medium-rare (internal 130-135F). 5 minutes for medium (140F).
  7. Remove from grill. Place on cutting board. Rest 5 full minutes. The juices are redistributing. Cutting it early means those juices end up on the board instead of in your mouth.
  8. Slice against the grain. Squeeze lemon. This is the backyard version of the date night steak.
Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 12: Grilled Chicken Thighs (Lemon Herb)

Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 12: Grilled Chicken Thighs (Lemon Herb)

Directions

  1. Combine lemon juice, zest, avocado oil, garlic, oregano, thyme, pepper, and rosemary in a bowl or zip-lock bag.
  2. Add chicken thighs. Coat thoroughly. Marinate at least 30 minutes (2 hours is better; overnight is best). Keep cold - cooler with ice if at camp.
  3. Preheat grill to medium-high (about 400F). If using charcoal, wait for coals to ash over.
  4. Place thighs skin-side down first. Cook 6-7 minutes until skin is golden and crispy with grill marks.
  5. Flip. Cook 6-7 minutes more. Internal temp should reach 165F at the thickest part.
  6. Rest 5 minutes before serving. Squeeze more lemon over top.
Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 13: Grilled Shrimp Skewers

Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 13: Grilled Shrimp Skewers

Directions

  1. Combine melted margarine, garlic, lemon juice, zest, pepper, and paprika.
  2. Toss shrimp in marinade. Let sit 15 minutes (no longer - acid "cooks" shrimp if left too long; you'll get ceviche).
  3. Thread 4-5 shrimp per skewer, piercing each shrimp through both the tail and the thick end so they lay flat and don't spin.
  4. Grill over medium-high heat, 2-3 minutes per side. Shrimp are done when they turn pink and curl into a C shape. If they curl into an O, they're overcooked.
  5. Remove from grill. Brush with remaining garlic-butter marinade. Sprinkle parsley. Squeeze extra lemon.
Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 15: Shore Lunch - Catch, Clean, Cook

Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Recipe 15: Shore Lunch - Catch, Clean, Cook

Directions

  1. Kill it humanely. A firm strike to the top of the head with a rock or the butt of your knife handle. Quick. Don't let it suffer on a stringer for hours.
  2. Scale it. Hold the fish by the tail. Using the back (dull side) of your knife, scrape from tail to head in short strokes. Scales fly everywhere - do this near the water, not in camp. Rinse.
  3. Gut it. Insert the tip of your knife into the vent (small hole on the belly near the tail). Cut forward along the belly toward the head - shallow, just through the skin. Don't puncture the intestines. Open the belly cavity. Pull out everything inside. Rinse the cavity with clean water.
  4. Remove the gills (optional but recommended - they taste bitter). Hook your finger under the gill plate and pull them out.
  5. Rinse thoroughly. Inside and out. Pat dry.
  6. Option A: Cook whole. Leave the head and tail on. The bones make a natural rack and add flavor.
  7. Option B: Fillet. Lay the fish on its side. Cut behind the gill plate down to the backbone. Turn the knife and slide along the backbone toward the tail, keeping the blade flat against the bone. Peel the fillet off. Flip and repeat. Remove pin bones with pliers or tweezers.
Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Pub Mix Dupe

Campfire & Outdoor Cooking

Pub Mix Dupe

Directions

  1. Mix cereals + pretzels + chips + nuts. Melt margarine with all seasonings. Pour over mix, toss to coat. Spread on sheet pan. Bake 250F 45-60 min, stirring every 15 min. Cool completely on pan (it crisps as it cools). Store in airtight container. Lasts 2 weeks (if it makes it that long).
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

1. Chicken Tinga

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

1. Chicken Tinga

Directions

  1. Put olive oil in a big pan. Medium-high heat.
  2. Put the chicken thighs in the pan. Cook 5 minutes. Flip. Cook 5 more minutes. Take chicken out and put it on a plate.
  3. Same pan. Throw in the onion. Stir it around for 3 minutes until soft.
  4. Add the garlic. Stir for 30 seconds. Don't burn it.
  5. Add the diced tomatoes, the ONE chipotle pepper (chop it up first), and the 1 tsp of adobo sauce.
  6. Add cumin, paprika, oregano. Stir it all together.
  7. Put the chicken back in. Turn heat to medium-low. Cover. Cook 15 minutes.
  8. Take chicken out. Shred it with two forks. Put it back in the sauce. Stir.
  9. Squeeze lime juice over everything. Top with cilantro.
  10. Eat it in a bowl, over rice, or in corn tortillas.
Calories: 285 kcal | Sodium: 195 mg | Potassium: 520 mg | Phosphorus: 230 mg | Fluid: ~120 mL
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

2. Kidney-Friendly Chicken Cacciatore

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

2. Kidney-Friendly Chicken Cacciatore

Directions

  1. Put olive oil in a big pan or Dutch oven. Medium-high heat.
  2. Put chicken chunks in. Cook 4 minutes, stir, cook 3 more minutes until browned on the outside.
  3. Take chicken out. Set aside.
  4. Same pan. Add onion and bell pepper. Cook 4 minutes until they start to soften.
  5. Add garlic. Stir 30 seconds.
  6. Pour in the can of no-salt tomatoes and the water.
  7. Add Italian seasoning and black pepper. Stir.
  8. Put chicken back in. Push it down into the sauce.
  9. Turn heat to low. Cover. Cook 25 minutes.
  10. Serve over white rice.
Calories: 365 kcal | Sodium: 120 mg | Potassium: 560 mg | Phosphorus: 245 mg | Fluid: ~150 mL
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

3. Chicken Ragu over White Pasta (Slow Cooker)

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

3. Chicken Ragu over White Pasta (Slow Cooker)

Directions

  1. Put the chicken thighs in the slow cooker.
  2. Pour the crushed tomatoes over the chicken.
  3. Add the onion, garlic, bell pepper on top.
  4. Sprinkle Italian seasoning, paprika, black pepper over everything.
  5. Drizzle the olive oil on top.
  6. Put the lid on. Set to LOW for 6 hours or HIGH for 4 hours.
  7. When it's done, take the chicken out. Shred it with two forks.
  8. Put the shredded chicken back in. Stir everything together.
  9. Cook your pasta separately. Drain it.
  10. Put pasta in a bowl. Spoon the ragu on top.
Calories: 410 kcal | Sodium: 105 mg | Potassium: 580 mg | Phosphorus: 260 mg | Fluid: ~140 mL
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

4. Homemade Spaghetti with Meat Sauce

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

4. Homemade Spaghetti with Meat Sauce

Directions

  1. Put olive oil in a big pan. Medium-high heat.
  2. Add the ground beef. Break it up with a spoon. Cook 6-7 minutes until browned.
  3. Drain the fat. Tilt the pan and spoon out the grease.
  4. Add the diced onion. Cook 3 minutes.
  5. Add the garlic. Stir 30 seconds.
  6. Pour in the whole can of no-salt crushed tomatoes.
  7. Add Italian seasoning, garlic powder, onion powder, black pepper, and sugar.
  8. Stir it all together. Turn heat to low.
  9. Let it simmer 20 minutes. Stir it every 5 minutes so it doesn't stick.
  10. Cook spaghetti separately in unsalted water. Drain.
  11. Put spaghetti in bowl. Put sauce on top.
Calories: 450 kcal | Sodium: 110 mg | Potassium: 620 mg | Phosphorus: 255 mg | Fluid: ~150 mL
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

5. Steak and Eggs

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

5. Steak and Eggs

Directions

  1. Take the steak out of the fridge 15 minutes before cooking. Let it warm up a little.
  2. Rub garlic powder, black pepper, and rosemary on both sides of the steak.
  3. Put a cast iron pan on the stove. Medium-high heat. Let it get hot for 2 minutes.
  4. Add half the olive oil. Put the steak in. Don't touch it for 4 minutes.
  5. Flip the steak. Cook 3-4 more minutes (medium-rare to medium).
  6. If you have the smashed garlic clove, throw it in the pan next to the steak for the last 2 minutes.
  7. Take steak out. Put it on a plate. Let it rest 3 minutes. (Seriously, don't cut it yet.)
  8. Same pan. Turn heat to medium. Add the rest of the olive oil.
  9. Crack both eggs in. Cook 3 minutes for over-easy, 4 minutes for over-medium.
  10. Put eggs next to the steak. Done.
Calories: 520 kcal | Sodium: 210 mg | Potassium: 580 mg | Phosphorus: 380 mg | Fluid: ~80 mL
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

6. Chicken Fajita Bowl

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

6. Chicken Fajita Bowl

Directions

  1. Mix cumin, chili powder, paprika, garlic powder, and black pepper in a small bowl. This is your fajita seasoning.
  2. Toss the sliced chicken with half the seasoning mix.
  3. Put olive oil in a big pan. High heat.
  4. Put chicken in. Spread it out so it's not piled up. Cook 3 minutes. Stir. Cook 3 more minutes. Take chicken out.
  5. Same pan. Add peppers and onions. Sprinkle the rest of the seasoning on them.
  6. Cook 5 minutes, stirring a couple times. You want them a little charred but still crunchy.
  7. Put chicken back in with the peppers and onions. Squeeze lime juice over everything. Stir 1 minute.
  8. Put rice in a bowl. Put the fajita mix on top. Add pico and cilantro.
Calories: 380 kcal | Sodium: 125 mg | Potassium: 560 mg | Phosphorus: 250 mg | Fluid: ~110 mL
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

7. Grilled Chicken Soft Tacos

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

7. Grilled Chicken Soft Tacos

Directions

  1. Mix cumin, chili powder, garlic powder, and black pepper in a bowl.
  2. Rub the seasoning all over the chicken thighs.
  3. Put olive oil in a pan. Medium-high heat.
  4. Put chicken in. Cook 5 minutes. Flip. Cook 5 minutes.
  5. Take chicken out. Let it rest 2 minutes. Chop it up into small pieces.
  6. Squeeze lime juice over the chopped chicken.
  7. Warm the corn tortillas. You can microwave them in a damp paper towel for 30 seconds. Or put them on a dry pan for 20 seconds each side.
  8. Put chicken in tortillas. Add your toppings.
Calories: 350 kcal | Sodium: 85 mg | Potassium: 440 mg | Phosphorus: 240 mg | Fluid: ~90 mL
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

8. Grilled Steak Tacos

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

8. Grilled Steak Tacos

Directions

  1. Mix lime juice (from 1 lime), garlic, cumin, chili powder, pepper, and olive oil in a bowl.
  2. Put the steak in the bowl. Coat it. Let it sit 10 minutes (or up to 1 hour in the fridge if you planned ahead).
  3. Heat a pan or grill to high heat.
  4. Cook the steak 4 minutes. Flip. Cook 3-4 more minutes.
  5. Take it out. Let it rest 5 minutes. This is important - if you cut it now, all the juice runs out.
  6. Slice it thin against the grain. (Look at the lines in the meat. Cut across them, not with them.)
  7. Squeeze the second lime over the sliced steak.
  8. Warm your corn tortillas. Load them up with steak, cilantro, onion, and pico.
Calories: 340 kcal | Sodium: 95 mg | Potassium: 490 mg | Phosphorus: 260 mg | Fluid: ~75 mL
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

9. One-Pan Chicken and Rice

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

9. One-Pan Chicken and Rice

Directions

  1. Mix cumin, paprika, oregano, and pepper in a small bowl. Rub half of it on the chicken.
  2. Put olive oil in a deep pan or skillet with a lid. Medium-high heat.
  3. Put chicken in. Cook 4 minutes per side. Take it out.
  4. Same pan. Add onion and bell pepper. Cook 3 minutes.
  5. Add garlic. Stir 30 seconds.
  6. Add the uncooked rice. Stir it around for 1 minute so it gets coated in the oil and veggies.
  7. Pour in the 2 cups of water. Add the rest of the seasoning. Stir.
  8. Put the chicken on top of the rice. Don't stir it in.
  9. Bring to a boil. Then turn heat to LOW. Put the lid on.
  10. Cook 18 minutes. Don't open the lid. Seriously, don't.
  11. Turn off the heat. Let it sit with the lid on for 5 more minutes.
  12. Open it up. Squeeze lime over everything. Add cilantro.
Calories: 420 kcal | Sodium: 115 mg | Potassium: 510 mg | Phosphorus: 255 mg | Fluid: ~130 mL
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

10. Chicken Stir-Fry

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

10. Chicken Stir-Fry

Directions

  1. Put olive oil in a big pan or wok. High heat.
  2. Put chicken in. Spread it out flat - don't pile it. Cook 3 minutes. Stir. Cook 2 more minutes. Take chicken out.
  3. Same pan. Add sesame oil. Then peppers and onions. Cook 3 minutes on high heat. You want a little char.
  4. Add garlic and ginger. Stir 30 seconds.
  5. Put chicken back in.
  6. Pour the low-sodium soy sauce over everything.
  7. Add garlic powder and black pepper.
  8. Stir everything together for 1 minute.
  9. Serve over white rice.
Calories: 390 kcal | Sodium: 320 mg | Potassium: 530 mg | Phosphorus: 260 mg | Fluid: ~100 mL
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

11. Low-Sodium Spanish Rice

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

11. Low-Sodium Spanish Rice

Directions

  1. Put olive oil in a medium pot. Medium heat.
  2. Add the uncooked rice. Stir it around for 2 minutes until it starts to look a little golden.
  3. Add the onion. Cook 2 minutes.
  4. Add garlic. Stir 30 seconds.
  5. Add the tomato paste. Stir it in so it coats the rice.
  6. Pour in the 2 cups of water.
  7. Add cumin, chili powder, paprika, black pepper.
  8. Stir once. Bring to a boil.
  9. Turn heat to LOW. Put the lid on. Cook 18 minutes.
  10. Turn off heat. Leave the lid on for 5 minutes.
  11. Fluff with a fork.
Calories: 210 kcal | Sodium: 15 mg | Potassium: 120 mg | Phosphorus: 55 mg | Fluid: ~80 mL
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

12. Homemade Refried Beans (40% Less Potassium)

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

12. Homemade Refried Beans (40% Less Potassium)

Directions

  1. Put the dry beans in a big bowl. Cover with water. At least 3 inches of water above the beans. Let them soak for 8 hours or overnight.
  2. Drain the soaking water. Rinse the beans. (This is what removes the potassium - the K leaches into the water.)
  3. Put beans in a big pot. Cover with fresh water - about 2 inches above the beans.
  4. Bring to a boil. Turn to medium-low. Cook 1.5 to 2 hours until beans are very soft. Add more water if it gets low.
  5. Drain the beans. Save about 1/2 cup of the cooking water.
  6. In a separate pan, heat olive oil. Medium heat. Add onion. Cook 4 minutes.
  7. Add garlic. Stir 30 seconds.
  8. Add the drained beans to the pan. Add cumin, chili powder, pepper.
  9. Mash them with a potato masher or the back of a big spoon. Add a little of the saved cooking water if they're too thick.
  10. Stir and mash until you get the texture you want. Some chunks are fine.
Calories: 220 kcal | Sodium: 8 mg | Potassium: 380 mg | Phosphorus: 150 mg | Fluid: ~60 mL
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

13. Caesar Salad

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

13. Caesar Salad

Directions

  1. Put olive oil, lemon juice, garlic, pepper, and oregano in a small jar or bowl.
  2. Whisk it or shake it up.
  3. Pour over the romaine. Toss it.
  4. Add croutons if you want.
  5. That's it.
Calories: 95 kcal | Sodium: 10 mg | Potassium: 220 mg | Phosphorus: 35 mg | Fluid: ~100 mL
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

14. Garden Salad with Herb Vinaigrette

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

14. Garden Salad with Herb Vinaigrette

Directions

  1. Put all the salad stuff in a big bowl.
  2. Mix all the dressing stuff together in a small bowl or jar.
  3. Pour dressing on salad. Toss.
  4. Eat.
Calories: 140 kcal | Sodium: 12 mg | Potassium: 280 mg | Phosphorus: 40 mg | Fluid: ~120 mL
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

15. Roasted Peppers and Onions

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

15. Roasted Peppers and Onions

Directions

  1. Turn oven to 425F.
  2. Put peppers, onions, and garlic on a baking sheet.
  3. Pour olive oil over everything. Sprinkle oregano, pepper, paprika.
  4. Toss it around with your hands so everything is coated.
  5. Spread it out in one layer. Don't pile it up.
  6. Put it in the oven. 20 minutes.
  7. Take it out. Done.
Calories: 130 kcal | Sodium: 8 mg | Potassium: 310 mg | Phosphorus: 40 mg | Fluid: ~70 mL
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

16. Homemade Pico de Gallo

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

16. Homemade Pico de Gallo

Directions

  1. Dice the tomatoes. Put in a bowl.
  2. Dice the onion. Put in the bowl.
  3. Cut the jalapeno in half. Scrape out the seeds with a spoon (unless you want heat). Dice it small. Put in the bowl.
  4. Chop the cilantro. Put in the bowl.
  5. Squeeze the limes over everything.
  6. Stir it up.
  7. Let it sit 10 minutes before eating so the flavors come together.
  8. Keeps 3-4 days in the fridge.
Calories: 15 kcal | Sodium: 3 mg | Potassium: 130 mg | Phosphorus: 15 mg | Fluid: ~40 mL
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

17. "Ghetto Baja Blast"

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

17. "Ghetto Baja Blast"

Directions

  1. Put water in a glass.
  2. Squeeze the lime in.
  3. Add the sugar. Stir until dissolved.
  4. Add ice if you want. Drink it.
Calories: 55 kcal (15 with sugar substitute) | Sodium: 2 mg | Potassium: 25 mg | Phosphorus: 0 mg | Fluid: ~250 mL
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

18. Cold Fruit Bowl

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

18. Cold Fruit Bowl

Directions

  1. Cut up the fruit.
  2. Put it in a bowl.
  3. Squeeze lime on top if you want.
  4. Eat it.
Calories: 85 kcal | Sodium: 3 mg | Potassium: 175 mg | Phosphorus: 20 mg | Fluid: ~100 mL
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

19. Crystal Light Popsicles

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

19. Crystal Light Popsicles

Directions

  1. Mix the Crystal Light packet with 2 cups of water in a pitcher. Stir until dissolved.
  2. Pour into popsicle molds. Leave a little room at the top - it expands when it freezes.
  3. If using paper cups: fill cups 3/4 full. Cover each cup with foil. Poke a popsicle stick through the center of each foil.
  4. Put in the freezer. Wait 4-6 hours.
  5. To get them out: run warm water on the outside of the mold for 10 seconds. They'll slide out.
Calories: 5 kcal | Sodium: 10 mg | Potassium: 5 mg | Phosphorus: 0 mg | Fluid: ~60 mL
Andrew's ESRD Favorites

20. Homemade Taco Night (Full Spread)

Andrew's ESRD Favorites

20. Homemade Taco Night (Full Spread)

Directions

  1. Mix all the taco seasoning spices together in a small bowl.
  2. If using ground beef: Put it in a pan. Medium-high heat. Break it up. Cook 7 minutes until browned. Drain the fat.
  3. If using chicken: Slice thin, cook in olive oil 4 minutes per side, then chop.
  4. Add 1/4 cup water to the meat. Add all the taco seasoning. Stir. Cook 3 minutes until the water cooks off and the meat is coated.
  5. Warm the corn tortillas (microwave in damp paper towel 30 seconds, or dry pan 20 seconds per side).
  6. Set everything out on the table: meat, tortillas, pico, lettuce, peppers, onions, cilantro, limes.
  7. Build your tacos. Eat them.
  8. Feel zero guilt.
Calories: 620 kcal | Sodium: 410 mg | Potassium: 640 mg | Phosphorus: 310 mg | Fluid: ~180 mL